


Love before Death

by Filidia (EvavH)



Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:27:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26067964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvavH/pseuds/Filidia
Summary: Kaladin was convinced that there wasn’t anything that could give him the same exhilarating thrill as flying. And Adolin was convinced he had finally found the one he wanted to settle down with.Turns out they were both wrong.But will they be able to overcome their stubbornness and admit how they really feel?
Relationships: Kaladin/Adolin Kholin
Comments: 29
Kudos: 88





	1. CHAPTER ONE

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written after I finished reading Oathbringer. I can't help it, I just believe that Adolin and Kaladin were made for eachother.

Kaladin cursed as he lashed himself to the side to avoid the axe that was about to bury itself in his chest. He barely had time to gain his footing as a rain of arrows appeared out of nowhere. He threw himself forward and heard the arrows hit the rocks behind him. "Kaladin, you're a storming fool," he told himself before breathing in the last stormlight of the glowing spheres he was carrying with him.

He used the burst of energy to lash himself towards the sky and move away from the group of parshmen. Twenty minutes later he landed back on his feet behind a pile of rocks close to the entrance of the tower. He let out a long breath, releasing the last of the stormlight.

As he felt the exhaustion hit him he slowly sank to the ground. He stared at the moons and tried to fight the upcoming feeling of desperation. But he was too tired. He had barely slept in the last few days and his emotional barriers were crumbling.

Syl appeared before him. She sat down on his knee and studied him with a look that showed she was still hurt but also very annoyed. "Are you finally going to admit it?"

"Admit what?" he tried.

She huffed, "The reason why you just risked your life, wandering around the Shattered Plains at night, while you should be fast asleep. For being impossible the last few days. I know you. You _really_ like him, don't you?"

He looked at her with a sad, tired smile. She did know him. Better than anyone. "Yes, Syl. Unfortunately I really like him."

_THREE DAYS EARLIER_

When Kaladin woke up he felt sadness hit him. This was the day on which he watched Tien die years ago. It felt like a lifetime had passed since it happened but at the same time he could feel the pain like it was yesterday. He got up and tried to busy himself so he wouldn't relive that horrible memory over and over again. When he was told to report to Dalinar later that day he was grateful for the distraction.

He stepped inside and found Dalinar and Renarin studying a map that Shallan had weaved across the room. Navani was standing at the side, taking notes. Adolin was there too, sitting in a chair by the window, playing with a small gemstone, seemingly bored. When Kaladin entered he looked up and smiled. "Bridgeboy. Came by to cheer everyone up?"

Kaladin threw him a glare. Although he liked the Highprince, the man could be incredibly annoying and today of all days, he couldn't cope with the jokes about his persistently dark mood. "I wouldn't dream of interrupting your profound boredom with my cheerfulness, Highprince."

Adolin chuckled. "That was actually funny. Maybe the queen should make you the new Wit."

Kaladin swallowed a snide reply. He was never going to win this. Instead he turned his attention to Dalinar. "You called for me, Brightlord?"

"Yes, yes, I did," Dalinar gestured to the edge of the map. "Have you ever been here?"

Kaladin nodded and walked over to the map. He tried to ignore Shallan. Although he liked her, she also confused him. You never knew which personality was going to be prevalent today. When it was Veil she would throw flirting glances his way which made Kaladin extremely uncomfortable. Not only had he decided that he had no romantic interest in her, she was _married_ to Adolin. And he could only imagine how those flirting glances would make the Highprince feel. So he focussed his attention on the map and explained to Dalinar what he'd seen of the area.

When they were done Dalinar turned his attention back to Renarin and Kaladin turned to leave. But then Navani stepped closer. She gently placed a hand on his arm and pulled him aside. Kaladin looked at her in confusion. "Your Brightness?" Navani hardly ever spoke to him directly. She gave him a soft smile. There was compassion in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered so only Kaladin could hear. She apparently knew exactly what this day meant for Kaladin. He could see it in her eyes. She must have heard it from his mother. The two women had taken up a regular correspondence by spanreed. Surprisingly they seemed to have developed some sort of friendship. Although Navani would be very respectful about something so personal as his grief and she would keep that information to herself he felt unsettled that she knew. But at the same time her soft knowing smile somehow made him feel a little better.

From the corner of his eye he could see Adolin studying him and then glancing at Navani, a frown on his handsome face. Kaladin masked his emotions. He really didn't want the Highprince to know all his vulnerabilities. He gave Adolin a short nod and stepped out of the room.

…..

That evening he skipped dinner and went for a walk outside. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts and emotions. Syl followed him, dancing on the warm evening breeze. She had been quiet all day, sensing that Kaladin wasn't in the mood to talk.

When he rounded the corner of the outer wall he noticed someone sitting on a rock. Adolin. What was the man doing out here all alone? But then he spotted Teft standing in the shadows keeping an eye on the Highprince while giving him some privacy.

Adolin got up and gave Kaladin a hesitant smile. "I thought I'd find you here." He held something out to Kaladin. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine how it must feel to lose your little brother." This time there was no smirk on his handsome face. No teasing sparkle in his eyes. He looked almost shy. "I just wanted to give you this."

Kaladin looked down and found a small rock with tiny colored lines running through it in the palm of Adolin's hand. The kind of stone Tien always gave him. For a brief moment he felt anger that Navani had shared this information with Adolin. Apparently she wasn't as respectful about his privacy as he thought. But when he picked up the small rock his anger faded and instead he felt tears burning.

Adolin didn't say anything but pulled him in a hug. "I'm truly sorry," he whispered.

And for the first time in years Kaladin felt comfort. A warm safe hold. He wanted that hug to last forever. He wanted someone to rescue him from his grief. He wrapped his arms around Adolin's waist and leaned against him, letting go of the tension, his pain losing its sharp edge.

After a long moment Adolin let go and took a step back. "If you need to talk or anything, I'll be around."

Kaladin could see the sincerity in his eyes. And he realized just how beautiful the Highprince really was. Shallan was a fool for even glancing at Kaladin. "I…", he looked at the colored stone in his hand. "Thank you."

Adolin gave him a warm smile. "Don't stay out here too long. I know you can handle yourself but even Radiants need sleep," he said before heading back inside.

Kaladin stood there, trying to process what just happened until his thoughts were interrupted by Teft who stepped out of the shadows. "Kal? Why are you out here? And I know it's none of my business but what did he give to you?" He hesitated, feeling like he was prying. "I'm just asking because he insisted on going outside this afternoon despite the blistering heat and he spent almost an hour searching through endless piles of rock. Did he find anything important? Did we miss something when we ran our last patrol?"

Kaladin put the tiny rock in his pocket. "Yes, he found something important. And no, you didn't miss anything."

Teft sensed he wasn't going to get any more answers so he just shrugged and let it go. He'd probably never understand what most lighteyes were thinking, not even now his own eyes turned light blue every time he inhaled stormlight. But as long as his captain didn't seem to think they had done something wrong Teft wasn't going to worry about it. So he turned to follow Adolin back inside.

When Teft had left, Syl hovered in front of Kaladin with a puzzled look on her face. "I don't understand," she said. "You are both happy and sad. Why?"

Kaladin wished she wasn't so good at reading him. "It's nothing, it's...it's complicated."

She frowned. "So many things are complicated." She came a little closer and studied his eyes. "He confuses you."

Kaladin nodded. "He does."

"Why?."

"I don't know."

She wrinkled her nose, something she did when she wasn't satisfied with his answer. "That's not helping me understand."

Kaladin wasn't sure _he_ wanted to understand. He turned to head back to his room without giving her a reply.

She huffed and turned into a long silver ribbon that quickly vanished into the night's sky.

…..

Kaladin didn't get much sleep that night. Every time he closed his eyes he saw those beautiful light blue eyes and he felt those arms around him. He didn't understand why he felt such a longing to relive that moment. The fact that he longed for the hold of a man wasn't the confusing part. Kaladin had never really thought about whether he preferred women over men. It was the fact that it was Adolin. The Highprince. The _married_ Highprince. Kaladin tried to focus on the times the man had annoyed him. But instead he found himself remembering the time he'd first seen him when Adolin defended the prostitute. Or the moment he found out the man had himself locked up to stand by Kaladin. Or how impressive he'd been on the battlefield. How brave he was. And that victorious beautiful smile afterwards. Covered in blood. Most of his Shardplate shattered but sparkles in his eyes. How he'd guided Kaladin through Shadesmar when he'd grown completely numb and had lost all sense of purpose.

Kaladin groaned softly as he turned to his side. If he could just get some sleep. Then he'd probably be able to forget this ever happened.

…..

But when he woke the next morning he was even more confused. Because he'd dreamt that he kissed Adolin. And it was like he could still feel that kiss lingering on his lips. He got up and after a quick breakfast he went to inspect the new training facilities. He felt restless and on edge. And he found himself looking for Adolin. But the man was nowhere to be found. He needed to see him. Surely if he would talk to him in broad daylight over something as trivial as training equipment that strange longing would disappear.

Determined to get it out of his system he went in search of Adolin later that day. He eventually found him outside standing near the edge of the plateau. He was accompanied by a few men from Bridge Four.

When Adolin spotted Kaladin he gestured to him to come over. "You're just the man I need."

That sent a rather unwelcome shiver down Kaladin's spine. "Why is that, Brightlord?" he asked as he approached.

"I want to go down there. And you've been there. What can you tell me about it?"

Kaladin frowned. "I can tell you it's a stupid idea."

Adolin didn't seem very offended by that reply and just grinned at him. "What else?"

Kaladin crossed his arms. "Seriously? Why on earth would you go down there voluntarily? You'll stumble over rotten corpses while trying to run from a chasmfiend. I fail to see the fun in that."

Adolin chuckled. "That's hardly a surprise. You fail to see the fun in just about everything." He turned to Lopen. "Did you bring the rope ladder?"

And suddenly Kaladin had a vision of Adolin getting torn to pieces by one of those ferocious predators he'd encountered down there. "You're not going down into those chasms."

Alodin raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? Since when can you tell a Highprince what he can and can not do?"

Kaladin realized he was pushing it too far. He probably wasn't the only one who'd noticed the way Shallan, or rather Veil, sometimes looked at him and challenging Adolin's authority would only make it worse. Even his men looked at him in surprise.

"I'm sorry, Highprince. I don't mean to be disrespectful but you really shouldn't go down there unless it's a matter of life and death."

"You think I can't handle whatever is down there?" Adolin's voice had grown a little colder.

Kaladin cursed inwardly. "You probably can, but why risk it?"

"If you're so worried you can join me."

Kaladin hesitated for a brief moment. "No, I'm not going down there."

Adolin huffed. "Fine. But just because you're too scared doesn't mean I can't go down there." But his voice was starting to lack conviction.

"Fine," Kaladin said, irritation clear in his voice. He didn't want to insult Adolin but he definitely didn't want the man to risk his life in the chasms. "If you want to go down into the chasms so badly to prove you're so storming brave then by all means go. But I don't want you to put my men at risk just so you can please your ego." He winced inwardly as soon as the words left his mouth. Too disrespectful.

Adolin's eyes narrowed. "Watch your tone, bridgeboy. I'm still a Highprince."

"A true Highprince would gain respect in battle, not by making irresponsible demands."

For a brief moment Kaladin saw something in Adolin's eyes that was more than just anger. Hurt.

"You want me to prove my bravery in battle, Bridgeboy?" Adolin said as he held out his hand. Kaladin knew that within ten heartbeats Adolin's Shardblade would appear.

He held out his hand too and his Blade formed in his hand instantly. "I'm a Radiant. You can't intimidate me."

The men of Bridge Four had all taken a few steps back and stared at the two men, trying to understand what was going on.

Adolin cursed under his breath because he knew he could never win this. As soon as he felt his Blade form in his hands he dismissed it. "Fine. I won't go down there. Yet."

Kaladin dismissed his Blade too. "Fine. I won't have to argue with you any longer. Yet."

Adolin looked like he was considering punching Kaladin in his face but he chose not to. Instead he turned and marched back to the tower.

Lopen stared at Kaladin. "What was that about, Kal?"

Kaladin watched Adolin walk away and he felt a sadness hit him. But he masked it with annoyance. "Storming lighteyes always need to feel superior," he muttered. "Just go after him. You're meant to guard him."

After the men had followed Adolin inside, Syl appeared and she had an equally annoyed frown on her face. "I don't like being summoned just so you can wave me around to impress a Highprince."

Kaladin sighed. "I can't help it that he's an idiot."

She huffed. "It's debatable who the idiot is," she said before changing into a ribbon of light again and disappearing in the dark.

Kaladin watched her vanish and the sadness he felt when Adolin walked away intensified. He knew he hadn't handled this very well but the thought of Adolin getting hurt was just more than he could bear.

….

The next day Adolin made it clear he wanted to avoid Kaladin. Even when Kaladin asked him a direct question during a meeting with Dalinar and Jasnah, the Highprince pointedly ignored him and instead turned to Navani to ask her about the new fabrial she was working on. Dalinar frowned but answered Kaladin's question so it wouldn't embarrass the windrunner. When the meeting was over Kaladin felt that he had to say something. Maybe apologize for his behaviour the evening before. But when he approached Adolin the man threw him a death glare before marching out of the room.

Shallan stood and walked over to him. She put a hand on his arm. "Don't mind him, Kal. He's got a lot on his mind." And she gave him a smile that was clearly coming from Veil. He suddenly felt like slapping her. Storms. Stupid woman. Didn't she realize how difficult she was making it for all of them? But at the same time he knew she couldn't help it. Not really. She had her own demons and being someone else was her way to cope. It was just very unfortunate that it made this whole situation even more complicated. He forced a polite smile as he gently removed her hand from his arm. "It's no problem, Brightness," he said before turning on his heels and leaving the room. He needed to get out of this tower.

He walked over to the quarters of Bridge Four but not even the company of his men and the stew Rock had made could make him feel better. So after dinner he sneaked out of the tower and took to the skies. Although he knew he shouldn't leave without telling someone where he was he just didn't care at that moment. He needed to feel free, to get this growing frustration out of his system. Syl appeared next to him. "Kaladin Stormblessed, where do you think you're going?' she asked, sounding rather demanding for a little spren.

"I need to get away."

"It's dark, it's dangerous. You don't know who's out there. You haven't told anyone that you left."

"If you don't like it then by all means, stay with Bridge Four."

She looked hurt and he hated himself for being so harsh but he felt that if he didn't feel the freedom of the skies he'd choke. And he didn't think he'd run into any trouble. The Shattered Plains were just a vast emptiness now.

He lashed himself towards the east and it took him less than half an hour to run into a group of Parshmen, their eyes shining bright red, eager to take a windrunner down.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

Adolin was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He was alone. Shallan, or rather Veil, was out drinking with her friends. They had a fight. He’d told her that she couldn’t go out drinking now that she was married to him. Shallan would never even consider doing such a thing. But she didn’t want to listen. She was Veil now. And Veil never really cared what Adolin had to say.

To be honest, he was glad that she was gone. He needed some time alone. To figure out what he really wanted. Because the last few days had turned his world upside down.

THREE DAYS EARLIER

Adolin was pacing his room. He felt restless, frustrated. And the person he blamed for his foul mood was Kaladin Stormblessed. The tall, flying, moody, Radiant bridgeboy. He always made Adolin feel inadequate. In front of his father, his wife, the queen. And even in front of his own men. There had been times when Kaladin had faltered but those had been very few. The man always seemed to be able to drag himself up and be even stronger and more in control than before. 

Adolin sighed as he stopped in front of the mirror. Even his new very fashionable uniform didn’t make him feel any better. Because if that storming bridgeboy would wear thorn and dirty trousers that went out of fashion a decade ago, his wife would still look at the windrunner as if he was the most beautiful creature in the world. Well, not Shallan. But Veil did. Adolin had thought that he would be able to cope with all her personalities. That Shallan would realize she was enough, that she didn’t need to be anyone else. And it had seemed like she agreed for a short while. No more glances at the bridgeboy, no more insults thrown his way. But eventually Veil appeared again. At first he’d found it somewhat amusing but it didn’t take long before it became clear to more people than just him that Veil really wasn’t that interested in Adolin. He couldn’t really blame Kaladin for it. It wasn’t like the man encouraged her in any way. If anything he could tell it made him feel very uncomfortable.

But apart from being embarrassing he also found it harder and harder to consider Shallan his wife. Every time they were together he had to determine who he was with. And he was starting to realize he couldn’t do it anymore. Although he loved Shallan he didn’t want to wake up not knowing whether it was Veil laying next to him. They never should have gotten married. Because he could feel that she wasn’t really happy either. Maybe Shallan was, but Veil and the Radiant felt trapped in this marriage. 

Although Adolin was known for being able to get along with just about anyone, no matter where they were from or what their intention was, in reality he didn’t like most people. They were always hiding something, always seemed to have an ulterior motive. He needed someone true in his life. Someone who wouldn’t hide who they were, someone who wouldn’t try to manipulate him, who would always be truthful no matter if that truth would please Adolin. Someone like…. Adolin froze. Because he suddenly realized who that person was. There was one who always was honest with him. Who wasn’t impressed by the fact that he was the Highprince. Who didn’t back down. Who didn’t use him for his own goals. Kaladin Stormblessed. 

Adolin sank down on the edge of the bed and rested his head in his hands. How could it be that the one man who frustrated him the most was the one he might need the most? But it wasn’t like he was attracted to him, right? He liked women. He liked his wife. Loved, he corrected himself. He loved his wife. But somewhere in the back of his mind he heard a little voice, like a spren, whispering, “No you don’t. You might like her a lot. But you don’t love her.” 

Before he could process that disturbing thought there was a knock on the door.

“Highprince? Brightlord Dalinar requested your presence.”

Adolin praised the Almighty, grateful for the distraction. “I’ll be right there.” he got up and adjusted his clothes before heading over to Dalinar’s room.

But he found he couldn’t bring himself to take part in the conversation. He settled in a chair by the window and tried to look bored to mask how confused he was. When Kaladin stepped inside he felt something stir inside of him but he hid it behind a joke. The windrunner seemed even more moody than normal and Adolin wondered what was on his mind. 

When he saw his aunt pull Kaladin to the side after the meeting he sat upright, trying to figure out what was said. Navani had an almost tender look in her eyes when she softly spoke to the man who seemed a little uncomfortable. 

After Kaladin left Adolin got up and walked over to his aunt. “What did you say to the bridgeboy?”

Navani frowned. “I wish you would stop calling him that. He is anything but a boy, Adolin.”

Adolin grunted. “I know. But what did you talk about?”

She studied him. “It was something personal. I don’t think you need to know.”

Adolin met her inquisitive look. “We’ve been through a lot together. He saved my life and I’d like to think I saved his. If there’s something I can help him with, I’d like to know.” I need to know, he thought. 

She was quiet for a long time before she finally spoke. “Very well. But I expect you to treat this information with the respect it deserves.”

That’s when he learned about Tien. How Kaladin’s little brother used to cheer him up, how they were best friends. And how Kaladin hadn’t been able to protect him on that fatal day.

When Navani finished he felt an overwhelming need to ease Kaladin’s pain. It seemed like the most important thing in the world suddenly. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

“Adolin, don’t...” But before she could say another word he was already out the door, gesturing to his guards to follow him outside into the blistering heat. He needed to find something.

…..

That evening he was sitting on a rock, nervously waiting for Kaladin to step outside. He was certain the man would want to be alone and for that he’d leave the tower. Teft, who had been assigned to be his guard today, had been hesitant about going outside while it was dark but Adolin had assured the man that he wouldn’t wander off but that he needed some privacy. So Teft had chosen a spot close to the wall in the shadows where he could keep an eye on the large plateau for incoming trouble.

When Kaladin appeared, Adolin got up. As he stepped closer he could see the hurt behind that intense gaze. For a brief moment he hesitated. Maybe Kaladin would punch him in his face for bringing this up. And suddenly the small rock he’d been holding in his hand for the last hour seemed like a really stupid thing to give to this strong, proud man. But he wanted to ease Kaladin’s pain so badly that it was worth the risk.

When Adolin held it out to Kaladin and told him how sorry he was, he could see anger in those beautiful eyes but then it turned to sadness and something else. Something almost tender. Adolin couldn’t stop himself from pulling the bridgeman into a hug. And Almighty, that felt good. It was like putting on his Shardplate, everything clicked in place and it felt so familiar, so safe. He had to force himself to eventually let go and somehow he managed a smile as he took the step back. 

When he headed inside he had to force himself to keep walking and not turn on his heels and pull Kaladin in for another hug. He was relieved to find that Shallan was already asleep. Without making a sound he got in bed beside her. It took him hours to finally fall asleep.

……

The next morning Adolin was on his way to his father when he heard laughter coming from the quarters of Bridge Four. When he heard his name he stopped and leaned against the wall next to the open door, staying out of sight. 

“You’re lying, Teft,” Lopen said. “There is no way that Kaladin Stormblessed would hug the Highprince.” 

Teft shrugged. “You don’t have to believe it. I know what I saw.”

Lopen huffed. “You had too much stormlight. Your brain can’t handle that.”

“Besides, what’s wrong with getting a hug when you need one?” Teft said. “We could all tell Kal was upset yesterday.”

Rock’s deep voice joined the conversation. “The Highprince is a kind man. Not everybody has to   
only live for battle.” The big Horneater was still trying to come to terms with the fact that he killed on the battlefield. Even if it was to save Kaladin. 

“You’re saying the Highprince is no warrior?” Teft asked, sounding genuinely upset at that suggestion.

“No,” Rock replied calmly. “He is brave. And a skilled swordsman. But he’s not Kaladin. Our captain was born to face enemies you would run from while screaming for your mothers.”

“I still can’t believe he killed a chasmfiend. Alone.” There was awe in Lopen’s voice. 

Rock grinned. “Yes, our captain is something special. Like my stew.”

Adolin pushed himself off the wall and turned to head outside. He didn’t know if he felt insulted or not. It wasn’t that the men of Bridge Four didn’t respect him. He was just no match for Kaladin Stormblessed. The man was close to a god to his men. And could he really blame them? Even Adolin himself had felt an overwhelming sense of awe when he saw Kaladin fight, engulfed by stormlight, ruling the skies. 

If he ever wanted to impress Kaladin he had to show him that he was ready to face his biggest fears too. As he looked out over the Shattered Plains he could still hear the admiration in Lopen’s voice when he talked about Kaladin down in the chasms, killing one of the monsters that lived there. Maybe if he could do the same Kaladin would start to consider him an equal. He took a deep breath to calm his upcoming fear and turned to get back inside to get the men from Bridge Four. he was going to prove he was worth the attention of Kaladin Stormblessed.

When Kaladin had turned up Adolin was thrilled. Now he could show that he was ready to be as fearless as the windrunner. But then Kaladin had dismissed him. Humiliated him, infuriated him. But the strongest emotion was hurt. Because Adolin realized that beside that moment yesterday when Kaladin had been vulnerable there was no way the windrunner would ever let Adolin come so near him again. He wasn’t worthy. Before the hurt would overtake his other emotions he marched back to the tower, the eyes of Bridge Four burning in his back. He thought that whatever he’d felt for Kaladin, it had been a foolish mistake and unless it was in battle, he was going to stay away from the man.

…..

The next day he’d managed to ignore Kaladin even during a meeting when the man asked him a direct question. But after dinner his father had told him he wanted Adolin to go back to Thaylen City for a few days to check on the progress of rebuilding the town. And he was not to go alone. Kaladin would join him to watch over him. Day and night. 

Adolin’s rejection of Kaladin joining him had been so forceful that his father, who wasn’t easily surprised these days, had almost taken a step back. 

“Why is that a problem, son?” Dalinar asked with raised eyebrows. ”You know how dangerous it can be. We don’t know if they haven’t left a few fused behind to assassinate one of us.” 

“I can take care of myself, father. I don’t need a Radiant to protect me.”

Dalinar frowned. “You have the most capable guard in this world at your disposal but you choose to go alone? There’s a thin line between brave and foolish, Adolin.”

Adolin felt his frustration grow. Especially because part of him wanted Kaladin to join him. “I’m no fool, father and I don’t need Stormblessed to babysit me.”

“Apparently you do because you’re behaving like a child. He’s coming with you.” The look in Dalinar’s eyes made it very clear that he’d made a decision and further arguing was useless. “You can leave now.”

Adolin growled but turned to go to his room.

And now he was laying in his bed trying to figure out whether he hated or loved the fact that he was going to be together with Kaladin for days. And nights.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

When Shallan came back to her room late that night Adolin was already fast asleep. She had let go of Veil when she’d left the bar. And now Shallan was looking at her sleeping husband and she felt regret for what she’d done. But at the same time she also realized that she didn’t really have a choice. She just wasn’t ready to only be Shallan. And that wasn’t fair to Adolin. He needed someone he could rely on in this treacherous world. Not that Veil or the Radiant would ever betray him but she could only imagine how exhausting it had to be for him to deal with all her personalities. It was already exhausting and confusing for her. 

She loved Adolin. Or at least Shallan did. What if she couldn’t control Veil? What if they were intimate and Veil would take over and turn away from Adolin, longing for Kaladin? She sighed. They should never have married. She needed to find herself first. And it was entirely possible that she would still love Adolin once she did but she doubted if she’d marry him. He deserved more. She deserved more. 

Instead of getting in bed she picked up her notebook and began to draw Adolin. Her thoughts drifted off while her pencil kept moving on the paper. When she finally looked down at the drawing her eyes widened. She stared at the paper and slowly a smile appeared on her face. “Why didn’t I see this before?” she whispered to herself.

Staring at the drawing Shallan realized she could let go of the guilt for wanting to be free again. Adolin wasn’t meant to be with her. She would have to talk to Adolin and hopefully he would agree that they were better off as friends. But she couldn’t tell him what she’d drawn. Kaladin, fast asleep next to him, arm wrapped around his waist. Storms, she was going to enjoy watching those two figure this out.

…….

When Adolin woke up, Shallan was already dressed and gathering her notebooks.

He heaved himself upright and gave her a soft smile. “Morning.” He felt the guilt well up as he looked at her. Because he was pretty sure he’d just dreamt about that storming windrunner and it had involved some close contact that had little to do with fighting parshmen.

She smiled back at him and sat on the edge of the bed. “Morning. Jasnah is waiting for me. She wants me to help with some drawings they found in the old library. So I’m afraid I’ll be pretty busy in the coming days. But before I go I need to talk to you.”

Adolin nodded slowly. There was something different about her. She looked almost relieved. Happier. “What do you want to talk about?’

“Adolin Kholin, I’ll be forever grateful and honored that you agreed to marry me. I still find it hard to believe that you said yes but here we are. But I think it’s time to talk about something that we’ve both been avoiding.”

He frowned, not sure what she meant.

Shallan took a deep breath. “We should never have married,” she blurted out.

Adolin stared at her, not quite knowing how to react. Part of him felt hurt, even insulted. But a bigger part of him felt an overwhelming sense of relief. “I think you’re right.”

Her look softened. “You married Shallan. But I can’t just be Shallan. It makes me feel...incomplete.”

Adolin nodded slowly. “I understand that now.. And I want you to be happy. I want you to discover who you are. And maybe I still have to discover who I am.”

She couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle. “You certainly do.”

He frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

She waved her hand. “Oh nothing, that’s probably just Veil talking.” But then her look turned serious. “Promise me one thing. That we’ll always be friends, no matter what happens.”

Adolin smiled and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek. “Always.”

“Good. Because a Radiant definitely needs a Highprince among her friends. And of course you need my magnificent presence to make you look more impressive,” she grinned.

He chuckled. No matter what would happen he did love being around her. She always made him feel better. “My father wants me to visit Thaylen City, help rebuild the defenses.”

She got up. “Then we’ll talk more when you get back but now I have to go to Jasnah. You know how well she reacts to people being late,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

Before leaving the room she turned to Adolin. “You’re not going alone, are you? Those Fused could still be nearby.”

Adolin groaned. “No. Apparently my father thinks I need someone to watch over me. So Stormblessed is coming with me.”

“Oh really? That sounds like a very good idea,” she grinned before stepping outside.

…….

It took Kaladin some serious effort to keep a neutral expression when Dalinar told him he was to accompany Adolin to Thaylen City. “Of course, Brightlord. I will keep your son safe and assist him in rebuilding their defenses.”

Dalinar gave him a short nod. “Good. I know I can depend on you. We must try to limit the use of the Oathgate until we have more fused gemstones. So you and Adolin will stay for a few days.” He smiled when Adolin walked in. The boy always made him feel a sense of pride. “Good morning, son. I’m just telling Kaladin that you should limit the use of the Oathgate. You can stay in touch by spanreed.”

Adolin avoided looking at Kaladin. “Yes, father. When is Queen Fen expecting us?” 

Dalinar looked at the time fabrial on his wrist. “In half an hour.” He turned to Kaladin. “Jasnah has agreed to give you an extra pouch of gemstones and Queen Fen will give you more in case of an emergency.” He picked the pouch up and handed it to Kaladin. “Stay safe and keep your eyes open. We can’t depend on anyone’s loyalty and there are traitors among us.”

Adolin nodded. “We’ll be careful, father.”

Kaladin attached the pouch to his belt and followed Adolin outside. “Highprince?”

Adolin kept walking. “Yes, bridgeboy?”

Kaladin tried to hide his annoyance. He didn’t mind that nickname when it was said in Adolin’s usual playful way. But today it sounded dismissive. “I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have questioned your decision to go into the chasms.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Adolin said, trying to hold on to the frustration he’d felt that afternoon. He needed to keep some distance between them, especially after that dream he’d had. But thinking of that dream made his dismissiveness falter. “Let’s just forget it ever happened. We have enough to worry about. But don’t contradict me in front of Queen Fen,” he said, but his voice was softer now.

“I won’t,” Kaladin promised, relieved that Adolin seemed willing to let it go.

“Good,” Adolin said as he stepped up to the Oathgate. “Let’s just focus on the task ahead.”

One of Queen Fen’s ardents was waiting for them at the other side. He gave Kaladin a slight bow. “Queen Fen welcomes your assistance. She will meet with you later. I’m to escort you to your quarters in the castle.”

Adolin and Kaladin followed the ardent through the streets. People were working hard to repair the damage inflicted by the stone monster that Renarin had defeated. Adolin was still struggling to accept that his little brother had turned out to be a fierce Radiant. But he was also immensely proud of him.

The ardent took them into the castle and he stopped in front of a door that was flanked by two guards. “The queen apologizes for not being able to provide you with two separate rooms but so many houses have been destroyed that she decided to give people shelter in the castle.”

Adolin tried very hard not to show the mild panic he felt. “I’m sure my guard can find a place to stay with the queen’s guard.”

Kaladin wanted to wholeheartedly agree but he’d made a promise to Dalinar. He would keep his son safe. And staying in a room at the other side of the castle was not an option. But storms, did he have to share a room with the Highprince? “I would prefer to stay close to you, Brightlord.”

Adolin knew he couldn’t refuse. His father had undoubtedly given Kaladin instructions not to let him out of his sight. 

The ardent opened the door to a spacious room. There was a very comfortable looking bed, a few chairs, a desk and a couch. 

Kaladin dropped his bag on the couch. “I’ll be happy to sleep here, Brightlord. Or I can sleep on the floor.”

Adolin nodded. “You can take the couch.” He turned to the ardent. “Thank your queen for her hospitality. I look forward to meeting her.”

The ardent bowed. “I will be back to take you to the scribes in an hour. They have made a list of all the damages and the number of available troops.”

After the man had left Adolin placed his bag on the bed. “We’ll need a detailed map of the castle. If we get attacked in the middle of the night I don’t want us running through the hallways looking for the exit.”

Kaladin inspected the room and the reinforcements on the windows. “I’d like to talk to the queen’s guard. I need to know if they can be trusted.”

Adolin agreed. “Let’s do that right now. The guards can tell us where they are located. We’ll send a servant to the ardent to inform him where he can find us.” He needed to get out of that room. Looking at that comfortable bed with Kaladin standing just a few feet away was very distracting.

Kaladin nodded and followed Adolin out the door. He also wanted to get out of this room. He’d pictured Adolin in that bed and that unsettled him more than he cared to admit.


	4. Chapter 4

Lopen was staring intensely at Drehy. “Well, what do you think?”

“Why are you asking me? I wasn’t even there,” Drehy frowned. 

Lopen shifted nervously from one foot to the other. “Well...I thought, since you and Dru are lovers….”

Drehy rolled his eyes. “Really, Lopen? So being gay makes me an expert on every interaction between men?” He shook his head. “I don’t know and honestly I don’t even want to know. It’s none of my business. Or yours for that matter. And not to mention that the Highprince is married.”

Rock stepped up behind Lopen and placed a bowl of stew on the table. “Listen to him, Lopen. The man is wiser than you. Teft should have never told you. You airsick lowlanders never know when to be discreet.”

Lopen huffed. “May I remind you that I’m a Radiant too. Well, sort of. And my ability is to help people.” He shifted again. “And, well...I really like Kal and I think the man deserves some happiness.”

“With that,” the big Horneater said, “I agree. But I think he’ll have a better chance of happiness if you do not get involved.”

Lopen got up. “Fine. But my gut is telling me there is something going on. And I’m going to find out what it is.”

Drehy shook his head as he watched Lopen walk away. “The man really shouldn’t listen to his gut. It gets everyone in trouble.”

Rock sat down and looked at Drehy without saying a word.

“What?” Drehy asked, becoming uncomfortable under the big man’s gaze.

“You really think his gut is wrong?”

Now it was time for Drehy to shift in his seat. “I...I don’t know. Like I said I wasn’t there.”

Rock shook his head. “I’m not talking about that hug. That was probably meant to comfort Kal. He was having a rough day.”

Drehy stared at his bowl. “I think our captain doesn’t even know it yet. Maybe he never consciously considered looking at another man that way. But yeah….I think he likes men too.”

Rock sighed. “That’s not a problem. But if he’s interested in the married Highprince...now that would be a problem.”

Drehy smiled. “I have a hard time picturing Kaladin Stormblessed with Adolin Kholin. How would they ever get their outfits to match?”

That made Rock laugh out loud. He got up and gave Drehy a slap on his shoulder. “We will keep an eye on Lopen. Make sure he doesn’t cause trouble for our captain.”

Drehy grunted and rubbed his shoulder. Rock didn’t know his own strength sometimes. “If Kal really is interested in the Highprince he doesn’t need Lopen to get into trouble.”

…….

Kaladin was grateful for all the work that needed to be done. Even though he didn’t particularly enjoy endless meetings, it kept them both busy and more importantly, surrounded by other people. But he found himself staring at Adolin when he was discussing the defense line of the city with Queen Fen. The man had an amazing smile and Kaladin wondered how it would feel to run his fingers through that golden hair. Those thoughts made Kaladin want to bash his own head in. Storming fool, he told himself. The man is married. He wasn’t upset about being attracted to a man. But why, of all people, did it have to be Adolin? He sighed and focused on the people who were in the room. He didn’t know who to trust and Kaladin was determined to keep an eye on everybody who came near the Highprince.

Queen Fen rolled up the map that they had been studying. “I think we’ve done enough for today. Dinner is served in my quarters. Why don’t you join me, Highprince.”

“It will be my pleasure, your Highness,” Adolin smiled and he got up to follow her to the dining room, Kaladin on his heels.

Adolin wished he didn’t feel so conflicted about the windrunner staying so close to him. One part of him wanted to tell Kaladin to go back to Urithiru and send one of the men of Bridge Four to take over. But another part felt safe and happy for having the man with him all the time.

Kaldin refused to sit at the table. He couldn’t keep an eye on the entrance and the windows from his seat. So instead he ate his dinner leaning against the wall, his eyes looking for any incoming threat.

Adolin liked Queen Fen. She was direct and didn’t hide her opinions. And she was funny. When the servant poured him another wine Adolin hesitated. He should keep his head clear. But then again, Stormblessed was here to keep him safe and he could use a drink to let go of the tension he felt. So he finished it before the next course was served and nodded to the servant, holding the bottle. Queen Fen raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment. She knew the stress he was under and maybe the man just needed to unwind. And his guard was certainly capable of dealing with any problem. She liked Kaladin. Straightforward and a fearsome warrior. And he seemed very committed to his task.

When the dinner was finished and Adolin wanted to get up he suddenly felt the alcohol hit him. He barely managed to stay upright and not embarrass himself in front of the queen.

She had an amused sparkle in her eyes as she watched Kaladin stepping closer to make sure the Highprince wouldn’t keel over. “Goodnight, Adolin.” Fen didn’t care much about formalities. She figured that they were on a first name basis by now. “If there’s anything you need, just ask one of the guards. We’ll inspect the harbor tomorrow.”

Adolin nodded, not trusting his voice suddenly. With a curt nod he turned to leave and he willed himself to stay on his feet until he made it into his room. There he collapsed on the bed which elicited a soft chuckle from Kaladin. “Are you okay, Brightlord?”

Adolin groaned and rolled over to his back. Storms, why was the ceiling moving? Some sort of fabrial?

“I’m fine. I just need some sleep.” He’d been right not trusting his voice. It sounded a little drowsy. He tried to heave himself upright and stared at the clothes he was wearing. “I can’t go to sleep like this,” he complained. “This shirt will wrinkle.”

“Then maybe you should take them off.”

Adolin nodded slowly and reached for the buttons which caused him to fall back on the mattress. He frowned. “These are really strange buttons. They move.”

Kaladin sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Maybe you can sleep in your clothes. It’s not like you didn’t bring more,” he said with a glance at the bag Adolin had brought. It was three times bigger than Kaladin’s.

Adolin’s eyes widened. “Sleep in these clothes? Are you insane, bridgeboy? They are brand new and...”

“...the latest fashion,” Kaladin completed the sentence with a roll of his eyes. “I know. It makes an attack of the Fused pale in comparison.” He cursed inwardly but reached for the buttons. “I’ll help you.”

Adolin smiled at him. “My father was right to send you along.”

“I highly doubt he did that so I could take your clothes off.” Storms, that didn’t sound right. He had to focus on those buttons and not pay attention to the warmth of Adolin’s skin he could feel through the soft expensive fabric. 

Adolin managed to get his clothes off with help from Kaladin before falling back in the pillows. Kaladin let out a sigh of relief and he tried to get up from the bed but Adolin grabbed him by his wrist. “You need to stay close to me, bridgeboy. Maybe you should sleep here too.”

Oh no. No, no. Really bad idea. He managed to pull his wrist free and got up to take off his own clothes. “The couch is fine, Brightlord.”

Adolin rolled to his side, watching Kaladin undress. When Kaladin was done he reached, surprisingly quickly for someone who was intoxicated, for his wrist again, pulling Kaladin back in bed. “I told you to stay close. And I’m still the Highprince. You have to do as I say.”

Kaladin cursed inwardly. This seemed like the perfect time to contradict Adolin but he really didn’t want the man to make a scene. What if the guards would come running in and find them here. The thought alone was enough to make Kaladin blush. “Fine. But can you at least move over?” 

Adolin grinned and moved to give Kaladin space. But as soon as he had settled under the covers Adolin rolled over, slung an arm around Kaladin’s waist and pulled him close. “Goodnight, bridgeboy,” he mumbled softly before drifting off with a smile on his face. 

Kaladin considered pulling away. Chances were that Adolin wouldn’t wake up. And he doubted whether the man would remember this ever happened. But it felt so good to lay next to him. Kaladin felt something settle deep inside, making him feel almost...happy? He just couldn’t bring himself to leave Adolin’s hold. So instead he pulled the covers up a little higher and settled against the beautiful Highprince. He was asleep in minutes.


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

Kaladin woke up early feeling more rested than he had in ages. He was also warm and comfortable and there was someone… He snapped his eyes open and stared at a mess of golden hair with streaks of black in it. Adolin. The man had pulled him in his arms last night. He didn’t know what to do. Try to move away without waking Adolin? Or, and that option was really tempting, just lay there and enjoy it a little longer until the man would wake up?

He saw movement from the corner of his eye. It was Syl. She was putting in an effort to look serious but didn’t manage to do so convincingly. “Good morning,” she whispered. “I don’t have to ask whether you slept well, do I?” She tried a frown but instead she grinned. “I must admit that you look very good together.”

Kaladin threw her a glare. “It’s not my fault,” he hissed.

“No, of course not,” she huffed but with sparkles in her eyes. “Kaladin Stormblessed, the man who brought down the Assassin in white, is not able to pull himself from the hold of mere mortal Adolin Kholin.”

“He was drunk.”

“True. But you were not.”

Kaladin decided not to answer because he knew he would only dig a deeper hole for himself so instead began to carefully pry himself loose. Which caused Adolin to stir. Kaladin cursed inwardly and settled back down. “Can’t you do something to make sure he doesn’t wake up?” he whispered to Syl.

She shook her head in amusement. “And even if I could…”

“Storms woman, I really could use some help.”

Syl shrugged. “You got yourself into this mess, get yourself out.” But then she finally turned serious. “He’s married, Kal. You know that.”

Kaladin groaned. “I do.” He closed his eyes and tried to figure out a way to get out of this bed without Adolin waking up.

But the solution presented itself through a knock on the door. Kaladin scrambled to get out of bed. Even though the door was locked he couldn’t be sure someone wouldn’t just barge in. And that would certainly make things awkward. 

It turned out to be a servant who waited patiently with a tray filled with breakfast until Kaladin had opened the door.

Meanwhile Adolin had woken up. He grunted. His head felt like he had been hit with a hammer. As he slowly heaved himself upright he realized that the bed was warm beside him. And as he stared at the mattress and the wrinkled sheets he also realized he hadn’t slept alone that night. He looked up and found Kaladin standing next to his bed with a tray in his hands. And when he glanced at the couch it was clear nobody had slept there. How had they ended up in bed together?  
“Morning,” he mumbled while adjusting the pillows so he could lean against them. A vague memory of pulling Kaladin in his bed began to dawn on him. So maybe the headache wasn’t from the wine but from the windrunner punching him. But why had the man slept in his bed all night? Almighty, he needed another drink.

“Morning.” Kaladin put the tray on the nightstand. He had no idea whether Adolin remembered what had happened and he wasn’t going to make it a topic of conversation. “I’m going to take a quick bath,” he said and grabbed his clothes before heading to the bathroom.

Adolin watched him walk away. Storms, the man had a stunning body. He sighed and took a sip from his tea. A bit of stormlight from Renarin to chase away his hangover would be very helpful. His fingers caressed the still warm sheet on the mattress where Kaladin had been laying all night. Although his memories were hazy he was pretty sure that he’d loved having the man so close to him. He could understand why he had pulled the windrunner in his arms. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he was attracted to Kaladin. But Adolin didn’t understand why the man hadn’t pulled away. Or left the bed after Adolin passed out. Maybe...no, Adolin shook his head. It couldn’t be that Kaladin had wanted to sleep next to him. There had to be another, more logical reason.

When Kaladin walked back into the bedroom he found Adolin already up, picking out his clothes for the day. He sat down on the couch to check his gemstones but glanced at Adolin, admiring the way his muscles moved under his skin. He was almost flawless whereas Kaladin’s own body was covered in scars. It made him strangely self conscious. Which annoyed him. That annoyance was audible in his voice when he said, “Can you just pick an outfit without worrying that the colours may clash with the queen’s dress?”

Adolin tensed at the irritation in Kaladin’s voice. “Just because you think it’s fine to walk around in clothes that go back to the days of the desolation doesn’t mean I have to. I’m a Highprince, I have a reputation to uphold.”

Kaladin huffed. “That’s how you want to be remembered? For wearing the best outfit when the world ended?”

Adolin grabbed a pair of pants from the pile. “The way people perceive you is also determined by the way you look, Stormblessed. Maybe you should try some decent clothes sometimes. Maybe people might actually want to talk to you.” 

Kaladin knew he’d started the argument but that didn’t mean he had to put up with this. He got up. “I’ll wait outside.” 

Adolin cursed and grabbed a shirt from his bag. Maybe he should ask his father to send Teft to replace Kaladin. But then he would have to explain why. Not an option. 

Ten minutes later they were on their way to the harbor.

……….

Queen Fen and Adolin were standing on the wall overlooking the harbor. They had discussed the best way to fortify its defenses and after telling her scribe to make a sketch for the architects her eyes glanced over at Kaladin who was talking to one of her personal guards. “That guard of yours, he’s something else, isn’t he?”

Adolin was immediately on edge. He didn’t like her tone of voice or the way she was looking at the man. He managed to keep his voice neutral. “Yes, he is. Why do you ask, Fen?”

She smiled, glad that he seemed to be comfortable enough around her to use her first name too. “I was just wondering...can I borrow him for a while?”

Trying to stay polite was becoming increasingly hard. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what she wanted. “I don’t think my father wants to ‘lend out’ his Radiants.”

She chuckled. “Oh come on, Adolin. LIghten up. We all need some fun in these difficult times.”

“Fun? Then Stormblessed shouldn’t be your first choice.”

She chuckled again. “True. But you’re already taken.”

That made him blush. Storms, the woman really didn’t care for protocol. “I’m sorry but he’s my guard.” And that sounded a lot more possessive than he’d intended. 

She noticed and raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Well, if you’re that fond of him then I won’t ask him whether he’d be willing to guard me for a few days.”

His blush deepened. “I think we should inspect the docks.” Without waiting for her reply he turned to ascend the stairs that led down to the harbour.

Fen smiled as she watched Kaladin immediately following the Highprince. He sure was taking his duties seriously. 

Kaladin had to hurry to keep up with Adolin. “Everything alright, Brightlord?”

Adolin kept marching. “Storming woman thinks she can take you away from me.”

Kaladin looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Adolin stopped and took a breath. “She wants you to be her guard for a few days.”

That didn’t clear up Kaladin’s confusion. “Her guard? Why? Is she afraid for her life? Have they tried to assassinate her?”

Adolin huffed. “Fear for her safety has very little to do with this request.” He sighed at Kaladin’s expression that lacked any kind of understanding. “Storms, man! She wants you in her bed.” 

Kaladin stared at him. “She wants what?”

“You heard me. And that isn’t happening. The only bed you’ll sleep in is mine.” Almighty, had he really said that out loud? Judging by the stunned look on Kaladin’s face he probably had. “I mean, you’re here to protect me. Not her,” he quickly said and resumed his march to the docks. 

He cursed inwardly as he tried to rein in his emotions. He would have to find a scribe with a spanreed so he could tell his father they would be coming back tonight. There was no way he could spend another night in the same room with the windrunner.

…..

It was only when Syl appeared right in front of him that Kaladin realized he’d been standing there while Adolin was already halfway to the docks. “Oh, Kal, be careful,” she said. She didn’t want to see him get hurt but at the same time she could tell that Adolin liked her Radiant a lot more than he probably should. “You can’t have him and you know that.”

Kaladin nodded. She was right. Of course. What he said hadn’t meant anything. Adolin just wanted him as his guard. He pushed his emotions down and focused on his duty. Protect the Highprince. After taking a deep breath he followed Adolin as he kept an eye out for any incoming threats, ignoring how the man’s words had made him feel.


	6. CHAPTER SIX

That evening Adolin made sure not to touch the wine during dinner with the queen. Staying away from alcohol seemed like a very good idea. He’d tried to persuade his father to let him come back that night but his request had been rejected. They were to leave the next morning together with an envoy from Thaylen City.

When the queen insisted they had a drink afterwards, Adolin politely declined. “I’m sorry, your Highness, but I need to go over the sketches before we leave tomorrow. I want to make use of our last evening here to finalize the plans.”

Queen Fen smiled and she nodded. “Of course, Adolin. I’ll have the sketches brought to your room.” Before he left she leaned in. “Need more time alone with your guard?” she whispered with a soft chuckle.

Adolin cursed inwardly. He liked Fen but right now he wished she was on the other side of Roshar. He ignored her remark. “I’ll have those sketches ready for your architects tomorrow morning.”

“Wonderful. Have a pleasant evening, Adolin. And you too, windrunner,” she added with a smile to Kaladin.

Kaladin gave her a short and slightly confused nod and followed the Highprince back to their room.

Adolin had been so focused on staying away from the wine that he hadn’t realized that now he was going to be locked in a room with Kaladin for a whole evening. He would just have to focus on those sketches and ignore his guard as much as possible.

He took off his coat and sat down behind the desk where the scribe had placed the sketches they’d made that afternoon.

Kaladin stretched out on the couch. He closed his eyes and tried to think of something other than the man sitting so close by. To no avail. “Are you really sure the queen wanted me in her bed?”

Adolin groaned but didn’t look up from the sketches. “Yes. Can we not talk about that?”

Kaladin sat upright. “Why not?”

Adolin sighed and put his pencil down which he’d used to alter the layout of the wall. “Because I shouldn’t have said it. She’s a queen and one of our allies. I do not wish to offend her.”

Kaladin raised an eyebrow. “And why exactly is the idea she wants me in her bed offensive?”

“I shouldn’t presume such a thing. She probably merely wanted you as her guard to strengthen her reputation.”

That sounded very plausible and Kaladin should probably drop the subject. But he couldn’t help himself. He could still hear Adolin’s words. The only bed you’ll sleep in is mine. He could still feel the man’s arms around him. He had to know. No matter how much trouble he would get himself into. He needed to know if Adolin wanted him too. If he didn’t try now he’d never be able to let this go. He got up and walked over to where Adolin was sitting. “Get up,” he said.

Adolin looked up at him in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“Get up,” Kaladin said and pulled the man out of his chair. He could hear Syl letting out a small gasp.

Adolin’s eyes turned dark. “Don’t touch me! And you’re in no position to give me an order.”

“No?” Kaladin pulled him so close that their faces were only inches apart. Storms, the man was beautiful. “And why do you think you were in a position to pull me into your bed last night?”

Adolin tried to step away but he seemed to waver. “I...I was drunk...I don’t-”

Kaladin huffed. “You were able to walk out of that dining room. You need a better excuse.”

“I don’t need an excuse, bridgeboy,” Adolin said, his voice growing darker.

“You don’t own me, Adolin Kholin. You don’t get to decide which bed I sleep in.” Kaladin tightened his hold on the Highprince’s collar. He could feel the man’s breath on his face.

“You have to listen when I tell you to do something. What are you going to do about that?” Adolin dared him.

Kaladin growled. “I’ll make you stop talking.” He leaned in and kissed him.

Adolin froze and Kaladin almost pulled back. His brain was yelling at him to stop. But then Adolin parted his lips and gave in. Kaladin wrapped his arms around the Highprince and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. It sent shivers through his system and now that Adolin had given in, Kaladin couldn’t seem to stop. He pushed the man on the bed and fell atop him, kissing him again. He felt Adolin arching up and his own body reacted to the feeling of the man’s hands on his skin. He slid his fingers under the rim of Adolin’s shirt but suddenly Adolin tensed and pulled away.

And the look on Adolin’s face brought Kaladin back to his senses. Very reluctantly he let go.

“We can’t do this,” Alodin said softly.

Kaladin let out a frustrated groan and rolled over to his back. As he laid beside the man who had just given him the best kiss of his life he felt something tug at his heart.

Neither of them said a word until eventually Kaladin heaved himself upright. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”  
He didn’t bother to take off his clothes. He laid down and turned his back to Adolin. And he felt the loneliness hit him again. Adolin wasn’t his. He never would be.

Syl settled on the edge of the couch. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

……..

When Kaladin woke up the next morning Adolin was already dressed and working on the sketches. “Morning,” he said and got up from the couch.

“Morning,” Adolin didn’t look up from his work. He’d been lying awake most of the night trying to come to terms with the fact that he wanted so much more of the windrunner. But the more he thought about it the more complicated it had become. He had no idea if that kiss had meant anything to Kaladin. Or that it was just a way to balance out the subtle power struggle that always seemed to be going on between them. And because he couldn’t figure it out and he wasn’t ready to discuss it he decided to go back to pretending nothing had happened.

Kaladin sensed that Adolin wasn’t willing to talk about it and neither was he. He picked up his clothes. “When are we leaving?”

“In an hour. I will bring these sketches to the ardents when you’re ready and then we’ll go to the Oathgate.”

“I’ll be ready in ten.” He ignored Syl’s sympathetic stare and headed for the bathroom.

…...

An hour later they stepped through the Oathgate where Dalinar was waiting for them to greet the envoy and escort them into the tower. “Adolin, you come with me. I want to hear about the rebuilding of the defenses. Kaladin, you’re dismissed from your guard duty. You can go back to training your crew this afternoon.”

Kaladin headed straight for the quarters of Bridge Four. Before stepping inside he turned to Syl. “I know you probably have a lot to say but I don’t need to hear it. I already know. And not a word to any of them. They certainly don’t need to hear it.”

She crossed her arms and was about to tell him that she wasn’t that stupid but when she saw the look in his eyes she swallowed her words and just nodded.

Lopen grinned when Kaladin stepped inside. “Captain, how was Thaylen City? Enjoyed yourself with the Highprince?”

Rock let out a soft warning groan and he placed a hand on Lopen’s shoulder with a little more force than necessary. “Why don’t you gather the new recruits, Lopen. Tell them to get ready for their first training.”

Lopen threw him an annoyed look. “That’s in another two hours. I just want to-”

“Now,” Rock smiled as he squeezed Lopen’s shoulder. “They’ll probably be scattered all over the tower and we don’t want to waste precious time gathering them in time to start.”

Lopen mumbled something under his breath but he got up to do as Rock had asked.

Kaladin had barely noticed their exchange. He dropped his bag next to his bed and sat down next to Drehy. “Did anything happen while I was away?’

Drehy shook his head. “Nothing worth mentioning. Unless you want to hear about Lopen’s attempt to walk the ceiling but ending up in Rock’s stew. But that might spoil your appetite,” he said with a grin.

Kaladin just nodded absentmindedly.

Drehy studied him. “You alright, Kal?”

Kaladin didn’t respond but stared out the window.

“Kal?”

“Sorry, what?”

“Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Kaladin frowned and shook his head. “No. Nothing happened. Nothing at all.” He got up. “Let’s prepare for the training this afternoon.” Without waiting for them he marched out of the room.

Drehy watched him walk away and glanced at Rock. “I hate it when Lopen’s gut is right.”

Rock sighed. “Me too, my friend. Me too.”

……..

Adolin couldn’t wait to get out of the meeting with his father. He found that he could barely remember the sketches he’d altered himself that morning. All he could think about was that kiss. But whatever was going on between Kaladin and him, he needed to talk to Shallan first.

As soon as he got the chance he excused himself and went down to the library where he found Shallan sitting on the floor, surrounded by books. She smiled as she looked up at him. “Back already? How did the meeting with queen Fen go?”

“Fine. Shallan,” he crouched down in front of her, “I need to talk to you.”

She put her notebook down and studied his handsome face. It wasn’t hard to guess what he wanted to talk about. And she felt a soft sting of regret but at the same time she wanted to be free again. Being away from him had only solidified that feeling. Time to let go. She nodded and got up. “Let’s go somewhere private and talk,” she smiled and held out her hand.


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

Shallan closed the door to their bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Have you thought about what we discussed before you left?”

Adolin nodded. He was nervously pacing the room. “I did. And like I said, I understand it’s difficult for you. I know you. I might not really know Veil or the Radiant but I know you, Shallan. And I know that you’re not telling me everything. I can’t blame you for that. I guess we all have secrets. And I know all these personalities help you cope”

Shallan smiled. “It’s not so much that they’re secrets as they’re things that are just so hard to talk about.”

Adolin nodded again. “Yeah...I guess you’re right.” He stopped pacing and sat down in one of the chairs. “So you think we should annul this marriage?”

“What do you think?”

Adolin didn’t answer straight away. He stared out of the window trying to come up with the right answer. Yes, he wanted out of this marriage too. And part of it was that, like Shallan, he believed that her personalities made it almost impossible to be together. But it would look like Shallan was the mere reason they wanted to end their relationship while the truth was that Adolin longed for someone else. He sighed. She was right. It wasn’t so much a secret. It was just very hard to talk about. Adolin didn’t think she would be offended. She’d probably even understand. Or at least Veil would. “I think we should end this marriage.”

Shallan got up from the bed and sat on the chair next to Adolin’s. She reached out and placed her hand on his. “Adolin, what’s wrong. Are you mad at me?”

“No. No, of course not.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m grateful for your blunt honesty. One of the things I’ve always loved about you. I tend to avoid situations that involve emotions. I always want to find a way to fix it first.”

She chuckled. “Blunt honesty. That’s a polite way of putting it. But you’re right. You are a wonderful man but dealing with emotions isn’t your greatest talent.” Her look turned serious. “I’m sorry, Adolin. That I can’t be the wife you want me to be.”

Adolin shook his head. “No. No, I don’t want you to feel guilty. It’s not your fault. You are who you are. If there’s anyone to blame it’s me. I...I have...” he pulled his hand away and stared out the window.

Shallan smiled. Something must have happened between the two men. But she wasn’t going to push. He wasn’t ready. “Whatever it is, it’s okay. As long as we both agree that we’re better off as friends than as a married couple.”

Adolin turned to her and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. “I’ll be the best friend you ever had. I will always be there for you. And for Veil. Or the Radiant,” he added with a soft chuckle.

She grinned. “You better, Adolin Kholin or Veil will kick your ass.”

That made him laugh. “You think Veil can be the one to tell Jasnah and my father?”

Shallan frowned. “Storms. I hadn’t even thought about that. They’re not going to like this, are they?”

Adolin shook his head. “No, they’re not. But it’s our decision. They’ll just have to accept it.”

She got up. “Let’s get this over with. I’ll talk to the queen, you talk to your father.”

He got up too and pulled her in a hug. “Thank you. For being so brave.”

She shrugged. “This was the easy part. Now I have to convince Jasnah.”

Adolin smiled. “If anyone can convince her, it’s you.”

…….

Syl sat down on the edge of the table that Rock was using to prepare dinner. She watched Kaladin training the recruits with a frown on her face.

“Something troubling you, little goddess?” Rock asked while chopping vegetables.

Syl looked up and smiled at the big Horneater. She liked him. And not only because he called her a goddess. “Just the usual.” 

Rock put the vegetables in a bowl. “Nothing specific? Maybe something to do with our captain?”

She raised an eyebrow in surprise. The big Horneater never asked such direct questions. “Why would you ask that?”

Rock shrugged. “I saved his life. That means I am responsible for him now.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t understand. You saved him. Doesn’t that mean he is responsible for you now?”

Rock smiled. “Not to me.” He glanced at Kaladin. “He’s different. Closed.”

She huffed. “Yes, very different. Because Kaladin Stormblessed is normally such an open book.”

“To me he is, little goddess,” Rock stated calmly.

Syl wanted to answer but Rock gestured to her to stay silent when he saw Lopen walking up to them. Rock smiled at him. ”What is it Lopen?”

“Nothing, I was just hungry.” He picked up a spoon to get some food from the bowl but Rock swatted it away. “It’s ready when I tell you. Until then you don’t touch my food.”

“Fine,” Lopen grumbled. “I was also curious what the two of you were talking about.”

“None of your business, Lopen. Get back to trying to get those new recruits off the ground.”

But Lopen wasn’t going to give up that easily. He had noticed that there was something different about Kaladin too and he was determined to find out what was going on. He wanted his captain to be happy and he was going to help him. “You were talking about Kaladin, right?”

Syl looked at Rock, not sure what to say.

Rock sighed. “Lopen, I know you mean well but believe me, you do not want to get involved in this. Give our captain some privacy.”

Lopen frowned. “So you were talking about him. There is something going on. And it has something to do with the Highprince, right?”

Syl let out a little gasp which earned her an annoyed glare from the big man who usually treated her with reverence. 

Lopen grinned. “See! I knew it.” He turned to Rock. “We have to help him, big man. If he is what Kal wants.”

Rock sighed again. “Lopen, even if you are right, and that is a big if, then may I remind you that the Highprince is married?”

Without any of them noticing Teft had walked up to them. “Why does Lopen need to be reminded that the Highprince is married? Please don’t tell me he thinks he’s got a chance with Radiant Shallan.”

Lopen gave him a glare. “It has nothing to do with her. But if it did then I would-”

Teft cut him off. “Stop embarrassing yourself, Lopen. Not in a million years.” He turned to Rock. “What has that idiot come up with now?”

Before Rock could get a word out Lopen said, “I think Kal is in love with the Highprince.”

Teft stared at him wide eyed before bursting out in laughter. “Oh Lopen,” he chuckled when he caught his breath again. “You came up with a lot of insane stories but this is the best one yet. Is this still because of that hug? Seriously?”

Lopen shook his head. “No. That was just a first clue.”

Teft shook his head. “That makes no sense whatsoever. To begin with, it was Adolin who initiated that hug. Not Kal.”

“So?” Lopen shrugged. “Maybe the feeling is mutual.”

Rock let out a soft groan. “Okay, that’s enough. You airsick lowlanders should focus on your duties and not make up stories about our captain.”

Teft nodded but there was a frown on his face as if he was considering what Lopen had said.

Rock shoved them both towards the training grounds. “Get out of here. I need to make stew.”

Syl watched them walk away. “He’s right about them,” she said softly.

Rock raised an eyebrow. “Lopen? Why do you say that?”

“Because I saw them kiss.”

Rock let out a long, deep breath. “Storms. This is going to get more complicated than predicting the next Everstorm.”

……..

Jasnah stared at Shallan. “You want to do what, child?”

Shallan tried not to cower under that intense gaze. “I want to annul our marriage, Brightness. And so does Adolin.”

“Really?” Jasnah’s voice was cold as her eyes pierced into Shallan’s. “You think you can do better? Is the Highprince of Kholin not good enough for you?”

Shallan shook her head nervously. Storms, why did the woman always make her feel like a failure? “No. No, of course not. Adolin is a wonderful man. Any woman would be lucky to be with him.”

“Exactly. So why would you even consider such an insane request? Or was this all his idea? Because if he thinks he can do better he’s also mistaken.”

For a moment Shallan was taken aback by that compliment. “Thank you, Brightness. It’s just...I’m not ready. I thought I was. I hoped I was. But I’m not. I still have to learn so much.”

Jasnah slowly nodded. “It’s your inability to control your personalities, isn’t it? I can understand that.”

Shallan sighed in relief.

“However,” Jasnah continued. “You can work on that while you’re married. I’m sure Adolin will understand and he will have to learn to be patient.”

“No, no Brightness. That wouldn’t be fair. Adolin deserves so much more. And I don’t think I can learn to control them while being married. If anything it will make it harder.”

Jasnah raised an eyebrow. “Are you questioning my decision, child?”

Shallan cursed inwardly. She was never going to win this. She could only hope that Adolin would have more success convincing his father. Maybe Dalinar could persuade Jasnah.

“No, Brightness,” she said with her head bowed. 

“Fine. Then you can resume your duties and maybe find an ardent to help you control your other personalities. Although I would advise you to concentrate on your studies. Knowledge is the best distraction from unpleasant emotions.”

For you maybe, Shallan thought, but she just nodded and turned to leave the room.

…….

“But father, we both believe this marriage isn’t going to work.”

Dalinar shook his head. He was standing in front of the window overlooking the Shattered Plains. He held his hands behind his back and his broad shoulders almost blocked the sunlight coming in. “I”m sorry, Adolin but you will stay married.”

“Father, please. We’ll be unhappy. Shallan will never be able to find out who she really is.”

“She’s a Radiant. And a very effective one. That’s all she needs to be.”

Adolin placed a hand on his father’s arm. “You don’t believe that. You of all people know how important it is to discover who you really are.”

Dalinar tensed. “Maybe. But I’ve also learned that sometimes sacrifices have to be made. And we need stability in the House of Kholin. Annulling your marriage will lead to gossip and speculation. And I don’t have to tell you that that’s the last thing we need right now.”

Adolin huffed. “You’re one to talk. You upset every ardent in our house, not to mention half of Roshar when you married my aunt.”

Dalinar turned his head and threw Adolin a glare. “That was different.”

“How?” Adolin said, crossing his arms.

Dalinar’s look softened. “I love her.”

“So? That’s exactly the...” he stopped as he realized his mistake.

Dalinar raised an eyebrow and studied his son. “I thought you said that Shallan’s personalities were the problem? Or is it Stormblessed?”

Adolin’s eyes widened. How could his father possibly know? “What? The bridgeboy? No, no, of course not!”

“I thought maybe Veil was pushing Shallan to do this. It’s obvious she has an interest in our windrunner.”

Adolin let out a soft sigh of relief. “No, Shallan just needs her freedom.”

Dalinar turned around. “Then why did you compare my situation to yours? Is there someone else in your life, son?”

Adolin somehow managed to meet his father’s gaze. “That’s not the reason why we’re asking for this annulment.”

Dalinar studied him, clearly convinced his son wasn’t telling him the whole truth but eventually he shook his head. “I’m sorry, son. You and Shallan will have to find a way to deal with this. House Kholin has to appear strong and unified.” He turned back to the window, making it clear this conversation was over and thereby dismissing Adolin.

…….

Adolin headed back to his room but because he was so lost in thought he had taken a wrong turn and found himself in the hallway leading to the quarters of Bridge Four. He turned back but he found Kaladin blocking his way. 

Adolin felt his heart pound in his chest and the hopelessness of the situation hit him hard. He tried to mask his feelings and gave a short nod as he tried to pass Kaladin.

But Kaladin grabbed him by his arm. “Hey, what’s wrong? You look upset.” There was concern in his voice.

Adolin cursed inwardly. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

But Kaladin pulled him into a secluded corner. “You told me that you would be there for me if I needed to talk. And now you look like you need someone to talk to.”

Adolin tried to pull away but he could feel his defenses cave. “I have to get back to my room.”

But Kaladin didn’t let him go. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Adolin sighed in desperation. “Everything. Everything is wrong.”

Kaladin frowned. “That’s a lot. Can you be a bit more specific?”

Adolin hesitated but then he grabbed Kaldin by his collar, pulled him in and kissed him passionately, pushing the windrunner against the wall. 

Kaladin immediately responded, parting his lips.

Adolin kissed him almost desperately before letting go and taking a step back. “This. This is what’s wrong.”

Before Kaladin could get a word out Adolin turned and hurried out of the hallway.

Kaladin stood there, trying to process what just happened before he finally resumed his walk to his room. He didn’t notice Lopen who was hiding in the shadows with a sad smile on his face. 

“I’ll make it better, captain,” Lopen promised softly after Kaladin disappeared from view.


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT

Shallan looked up when Adolin entered the room. “Uh oh,” she said when she saw the look on his face. “I guess your meeting with your father didn’t go well.”

Adolin shook his head, collapsed in a chair and buried his head in his hands.

She got up from behind her desk and crouched down next to him. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. It might take some time but they’ll understand eventually.”

Adolin groaned. “No, they won’t. At least my father won’t.” He looked up. “What about Jasnah?”

Shallan shook her head. “I have to learn to control Veil and the Radiant and you have to learn to be patient. Her words.”

Adolin sighed. “This is a mess.”

Shallan raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think it’s that bad. It’s not like we can’t stand each other. We’re still friends. We’ll only have to pretend for the outside world.”

Adolin tried a smile. “Yes, you’re right. It’s just….”

“Just what? I’m still your friend, Adolin. You can trust me.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that there are things…”

“...that are really hard to talk about,” Shallan finished his sentence. She got up and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “If you ever want to talk about it then I’ll be here for you.”

Adolin got up too. “I know. And you’re right. It’s not really a problem.” He started to take off his clothes. “I’m tired. Let’s get some sleep.”

Shallan knew that it really wasn’t that simple but she also sensed he wasn’t going to tell her more so she just nodded. “I’ll separate our bed. It does come in handy to have some Radiant skills,” she smiled as she inhaled stormlight and transformed their big bed into two separate ones. 

He smiled at her. “Thanks, Shallan. You really are an amazing woman.”

“Don’t you ever forget that, Adolin Kholin,” she said with a wink.

………

The next morning Shallan was working on an ancient text when Pattern began to hum. She looked up. “What is it?”

“Your marriage with the Highprince. It is not right?” 

“No, it isn’t.” It surprised her that it had taken him so long to comment on the matter. 

“There is a different match for the Highprince,” Pattern hummed. “Yes. Yes, I can see that now.”

She put down her book. “I saw that too. I made a drawing.” She pulled the drawing of Adolin and Kaladin out of a box. 

Pattern slid off her skirt and as he rippled over the drawing he hummed appreciatively. “Yes. I agree with this.”

She smiled sadly. “I hope they will admit to how they feel. And that they can find a way to be together.”

“And mate,” Pattern buzzed.

“Pattern!” Shallan couldn’t help but giggle. She wondered how they would ever agree just how to mate. But her money would be on Kaladin to be the dominant one.

“What is funny? Do men not mate?”

“This is something I am not going to discuss with you.”

Pattern’s hum sounded a little annoyed. 

She put the drawing back in the box. “Why don’t you go and find Kaladin. I want to know if he’s as unhappy as Adolin. I need to find out what’s going on between those two.”

“Why is that important?”

Shallan smiled. “Because it is right for them to be together. It’s a perfect match. Surely you can see the importance of perfection?”

“Yes. Perfect is good.” Pattern agreed as he moved over the floor towards the door.

……

Kaladin was standing in an empty room. He’d never been in this part of the tower and he had no idea why Dalinar wanted to meet him here. But the ardent had been very specific about the location. Kaladin hoped the meeting wouldn’t take long. He’d barely slept and he was in a foul mood. He was studying the heavy door when Adolin stepped inside. Instinctively he took a step back. “Highprince. I was expecting your father.”

Adolin nodded. “I’m here to meet him. I wasn’t aware he invited you too.”

Before Kaladin could answer, someone closed the door from the outside.

Adolin spun around and reached for the door. He pushed but it didn’t move. “Storms, it’s locked.”

Kaladin stepped up and tried to open it. To no avail. He was instantly on edge. Was this an attempt to assassinate the Highprince? Was the tower under threat?

Then they heard a familiar voice coming from the other side. “Sorry, Captain. I was sent to tell you both that the meeting is cancelled but I accidentally closed the door and now the damn thing won’t open. But don’t worry I’ll get someone to unlock it.” They could hear Lopen running away.

……

Drehy looked around the breakfast table. “Rock, have you seen Lopen?”

Rock shook his head. “No,” he said with a frown. “He was here ten minutes ago.”

Just as Drehy wanted to get up to look for the man Lopen entered the room with a big grin on his face.

“Oh storms,” Rock sighed. “What have you done?”

Lopen sat down. “Nothing. Just had to take care of something.” The grin was stuck on his face.

Rock gestured to Drehy to get the rest of the men out of the room. Drehy nodded and told the men to go pick up their supplies.

When everybody had left Drehy took the seat next to Rock who sat down across the table from Lopen. “What did you do, Lopen?”

Lopen leaned over and whispered. “I made sure those two get some time to work this out.”

Rock sighed and rubbed his face. “It is better to deal with fifty parshmen out on the Plains than dealing with your stupid ideas. What exactly did you do?”

Lopen shrugged. “If I tell you, you’re going to ruin my plan.”

Drehy rolled his eyes. “So you do realize it is a stupid plan. I swear, Lopen, if you cause trouble for our captain….”

Lopen shifted in his seat but he had a stubborn look on his face. “You should have some faith in me. I know how to help people.” 

Drehy realized that pushing the man would probably mean he was never going to tell him what he’d done. So he took a deep breath and said. “I appreciate that you want to help him.”

The grin was back on Lopens’ face. “See, I knew you’d understand.”

Rock had to withhold a groan. “Tell us what you have done.”

Lopen shrugged while he poured himself a drink. “I locked them up together.”

Drehy threw his hands up in disbelief. “Seriously? Are you insane? Do we have to keep reminding you that the Highprince is married?” 

Rock leaned over the table, trying to stay calm. “Where?”

Lopen took a sip of his drink and studied Rock. “I’m not sure I should tell you.”

Rock growled, got up and grabbed Lopen by his collar. “Where, you idiot?”

But before Lopen could answer Dalinar stepped inside. “What is going on?”

Rock let go and stood upright. “He insulted my food, Brightlord.”

Drehy smiled and patted Lopen on the back. “He sometimes doesn’t know when to shut up, Brightlord.”

Dalinar raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment. “I need someone to find Teft for me. I want him to escort the envoy of Queen Fen back to the Oathgate.”

Lopen nodded eagerly. “I’ll find him for you, Brightlord.” He got up and grinned at Rock and Drehy. “Sorry, duty calls. I’ll be right back.”

Rock growled with barely contained anger but he couldn’t do anything with Dalinar there.

When the door closed behind them, Rock slammed his fist on the table so hard that one of the legs snapped. He sat down and cursed. “He will tell us where they are. Or I will make him fly without stormlight.”

Drehy leaned back in his chair and sighed. “We should seriously consider putting that idiot on a leash.”

………

Kaladin studied the door. It had intricate details on it. And something that looked like ancient writing. 

Adolin waited impatiently for Kaladin to step aside. He held out his hand. “My Blade will have no problem with that door.”

“Probably not. But I think Jasnah will not be pleased if you smash it to pieces. This looks important.”

Adolin stepped closer and looked at the writings. He cursed and lowered his hand. “Storms. That means we’re stuck here.”

Kaladin nodded and walked to the other side of the room. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “I guess that’s wrong,” he said cynically.

Adolin looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean, wrong?”

“Wrong. That’s the word you used last night. So being locked up with me will probably feel wrong as well.” 

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Adolin said as he stepped closer.

Kaladin raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? You seemed very adamant about it.”

Adolin sighed and shook his head.

The sigh annoyed Kaladin. “Don’t worry. You just stay on that side of the room and I’ll stay here. I’m sure we can manage to ignore each other for half an hour,” he said, irritation clear in his voice.

But Adolin didn’t step back. “I don’t want to ignore you.”

Kaladin raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Now Adolin was getting irritated as well. “It’s not like you ignored me. If I remember correctly, you kissed me the other day.”

Kaladin huffed. “That was only because you dragged me in your bed the night before.” 

Adolin tried to mask his hurt. “So you kissed me to make a point?”

“Yes. Just like you did yesterday.”

“And what point do you think I was making?”

Kaladin hesitated. Because he wasn’t sure. “You probably wanted to convince me that you’re my superior.”

Adolin huffed. “Really? That’s what you think? Storms, you’re impossible.”

Kaladin pushed himself off the wall and stepped up to Adolin. “Then tell me why you did it.”

Adolin took a calming breath and met Kaladin’s intense gaze. “Because I wanted to kiss you. But at the same time I realized that I can’t. We can’t.”

“Because you don’t want to hurt Shallan.”

Adolin shook his head. “No, that’s not it. Our marriage...we’ve agreed that we’re better off as friends. But my father….”

Kaladin tried to process what Adolin was saying. “So you want to kiss me?”

Adolin nodded.

“And Shallan won’t feel betrayed if you do?”

Adolin shook his head. “No, it wouldn’t hurt her.”

That was all Kaladin needed to hear. Of course there were a lot more obstacles but at the moment he didn’t care. He pulled Adolin in his arms. “Then kiss me, you arrogant, annoying, Highprince.”

Adolin wrapped his arms around Kaladin and kissed him, pouring all his longing into it. 

Kaladin moaned softly as he buried his hand in that beautiful golden hair while deepening their kiss. Almighty, it felt even even better now he knew Adolin wanted it as much as he did.

Adolin let his hand slide under Kaladin’s shirt. He loved the feeling of the man’s warm skin under his fingers and his body started to react. He pushed his hips forward.

Kaladin moaned louder as he felt the pressure on his groin. His hand slid down to the rim of Adolin’s pants.

Adolin pulled away to catch his breath. “What if they come back?”

“It took me five minutes to reach this room. And they have to figure out how to open it,” Kaladin said before kissing him again and reaching for Adolin’s pants. “I want you,” he whispered.

Adolin wanted to protest but his lust took over. “Then don’t stop.” He melted into the kiss and he unlaced Kaladin’s pants. He wrapped his hand around the soft skin and started to stroke him. Adolin shivered when he felt Kaladin’s fingers caressing him too. His body had never reacted to someone’s touches like this. And he loved how responsive Kaladin was.

After trying to resist their feelings there was no holding back now. They reached their climax almost simultaneously. 

Adolin panted and rested his head on Kaladin’s shoulder. “Storms, that was…”

Kaladin smiled. “Even better than flying.” He gave Adolin a gentle kiss on the top of his head.

Adolin let out a soft content sigh. “You make me feel so good.”

They were interrupted by voices coming from the other side of the door. “If you don’t open that door right now you airsick lowlander, I will make you the main ingredient of my next stew.”

Kaladin cursed. For once he wasn’t happy that he could always count on Bridge Four to come to his aid.

Adolin stepped back and hastily adjusted his clothes. 

Kaladin did the same and he managed to look calm when Lopen opened the door. Rock and Drehy were standing behind him.

Adolin was leaning against the wall, seemingly bored.

“I’m sorry, captain,” Lopen said with an earnest look on his face. “It appears the door opens easily from the outside. I guess I missed that.”

Drehy threw Lopen a glare before turning to Adolin. “I apologize for his stupidity, Highprince. Unfortunately no amount of stormlight can fix that.”

Adolin gave a short nod. “It’s alright.” 

Kaladin knew that there was more to this. He highly doubted whether Dalinar had called the meeting in the first place. But he wasn’t going to discuss that now. “I’m glad that at least one of you knows how to open a storming door.”

Lopen grinned at Rock and Drehy as they followed the man down the corridors. When they were out of hearing range he said, “Did you see that? The Highprince’s clothes were wrinkled.”

“So?” Rock grumbled.

“We’re talking about Adolin Kholin, Rock. I bet you ten emeralds that the man’s clothes were flawless when he put them on this morning,” Lopen said with a victorious grin on his face.

Drehy had seen it too. And he could tell by the way Adolin had looked at Kaladin when they stepped out of the room that something had happened between the two men. “I’m afraid he’s right, Rock.”

Rock sighed and shook his head. “We cannot discuss this now. Recruits are waiting for us. We will talk about it after training.”

Nobody noticed the ripple on the floor that passed them on the way down.


	9. CHAPTER NINE

Shallan was just about to leave her room when Pattern returned. She sat down and put her stack of books back on her desk. “Did you find Kaladin?”

“Mmmm, yes I did. I did find him. And the Highprince. I found him too.”

Shallan frowned in confusion. “Why did you go to find the Highprince? I only told you to find Kaladin.”

Pattern settled on her skirt. “They were together.”

Shallan raised an eyebrow. “What were they doing?”

“Mm, Not sure. Confusing.”

“Pattern, what were they doing?”

“Arguing. Then kissing. Then mating?”

“Mating?” Shallan eyes widened. “Are you sure?”

“No,” Pattern hummed in annoyance. “Confusing. But they seemed pleased.”

Shallan leaned back in her chair. Apparently her husband and the windrunner were very aware of their mutual attraction. For a moment she felt a twinge of jealousy but it was almost instantly replaced by a feeling of happiness. They were the two most important men in her life apart from her brothers and they both deserved to feel loved. “And then what happened?” she asked.

“Men from Bridge Four came in. No more kissing then.”

That made sense. Of course they felt like they had to hide whatever was going on between them. According to the rest of the world, Adolin was happily married. And now she understood why Adolin had been so upset about his father’s refusal to annul the marriage. If he and Kaladin had already kissed then it made things a lot more complicated. 

Shallan wanted to figure out a way to help them. She knew the pain Kaladin had to live with every day and he’d saved her life in the chasms. It was time to repay him.

The door swung open and Adolin stepped inside. He didn’t even notice Shallan who was still sitting at her desk. He laid down on the bed and let out a happy sigh.

Shallan got up. “You must have had a tiring morning,” she chuckled.

Adolin immediately sat upright and a blush colored his cheeks. “No, I...I just… I...”

Shallan sat down on the edge of the bed. “It’s okay, Adolin. I know.”

His blush deepened. “You know what?”

Pattern hummed. “You and the windrunner. Kissing. And something else. Still confused.”

Adolin’s eyes widened. He pointed at Pattern. “Was he…”

Shallan looked a little guilty. “Yes. I asked him to find Kaladin for me. Apparently he wasn’t alone.”

“I can explain. I was...we were…” But Adolin knew he couldn’t really deny what had happened.

Shallan put a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. I already knew that you like him. Although it was a bit of a surprise that you were already at the stage where you confused Pattern.”

Adolin groaned and buried his head in his hands. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s not like I was actually there. Although I might come and see for myself next time,” she added with a grin. “You know, just to expand my knowledge.”

Adolin couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’d be even more embarrassed then I am right now. Though Veil probably wouldn’t blink an eye. But how did you know?”

Shallan got up to get the drawing. She handed it to him. “I drew this a few days ago.”

Adolin stared at the drawing and he let his fingers caress the lines of Kaladin’s face. “It’s beautiful,” he said softly.

Shallan smiled. “I must admit that I outdid myself.” But then her look turned serious. “Do you really like him, Adolin?”

He nodded. “I do. He makes me feel safe, grounded. When I kiss him it’s...” he paused. “I’m not sure I should tell you.”

“Please do. Really. I want you to be happy. I want Kaladin to be happy. And you’re kind of hot together.”

Adolin chuckled. “I’m not going to give you the details, woman.”

“Yeah, maybe you should wait for Veil. I bet she would love to hear all about it. But I want to know how he makes you feel.”

“It’s like nothing I have ever felt before. I just want to be with him.” The smile died on his face. “But that’s impossible.”

Shallan took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “We’ll find a way. Let me help you. The two of you need some time together. Talk about this. Find out if he feels the same.”

“How? People are always looking for him. Or for me. The only time they leave either of us alone is when we’re asleep.”

Shallan’s face lit up. “Oh, that’s it!”

Adolin looked at her in confusion. “What? It’s not like we can sneak out of our rooms without being seen by the guards.”

Shallan grinned. “Kaladin can. He could be on guard duty. You’re the one who can’t roam around the tower alone at night. But did you forget how easy it is for me to change you into a servant? We’ll just have to find a room on an abandoned floor where you can meet.”

A grin appeared on Adolin’s face. “That might actually work.”

“Of course it’ll work. I’ll talk to Kaladin. You have to find that room. And if something happens during the night and you’re needed then I’ll send Pattern to get you. Just make sure you’re not doing something that will confuse my poor spren even more,” she added with a wink.

The look on Adolin’s face made her laugh out loud.

……..

Kaladin had a hard time focusing on the training. All he could think about was Adolin. How it felt to have his strong hands touching him. How kissing the man made him forget everything else around him. His thoughts were interrupted by Lopen who walked up to him. “Hey Kal, just wanted to know if you’re still mad about me accidentally locking that door.”

Kaladin studied him. The man had a wide grin on his face and he didn’t look very remorseful. For a moment Kaladin wondered if Lopen knew more than he was letting on but he dismissed that thought. As far as everybody was concerned Adolin was happily married. “No, I’m not mad. It was just an accident, right?”

Lopen nodded a bit too eagerly.

Kaladin frowned but then he saw Shallan approach. “Just forget about it, Lopen. Go back to the recruits.”

Shallan joined Kaladin and when Lopen was out of hearing range she said, “I’ve heard that my husband thinks you’re a great kisser.”

Kaladin barely managed to hold back a gasp. “Excuse me, Brightness?”

She grinned. “You heard me, Kaladin Stormblessed. No need to be formal. My husband really likes kissing you.”

“What makes you think that?”

“He told me.”

Kaladin found it nearly impossible to remain calm. “He told you?”

Shallan leaned in. “It’s okay, Kal. I have no problem with it. None. If anything I’m happy that the two of you enjoy each other’s company so much.”

Kaladin really didn’t want to know how much Adolin had told her. He shifted on his feet. “He told me your marriage was over. That you both prefer to be friends. I never wanted to betray you. He’s just…”

“Hard to resist?” Shallan smiled. “Yes, I have to agree. Adolin can be very charming.”

Kaladin couldn’t believe he was having this conversation. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I think the two of you need some time together.” She laid out her plan to him.

He hesitated. Storms, it was tempting. Spend a whole night with Adolin. But wouldn’t that make it even harder? Because he knew that Dalinar would never accept the annulment of their marriage. They could never really be together. His mind was telling him not to do this. But his heart won out. “You really are something special, Shallan. It’s hard to believe that you’re willing to help us.”

Shallan shrugged. “I think I still owe you one. So you want to do this?”

Kaladin nodded. He might regret it later but all he could think of now was sleeping in Adolin’s hold. And all the things before that.

She smiled. “I’ll let you know when and where. Just one more thing. Don’t hurt him, or you and I will have to find out who’s the stronger Radiant.”

“Never,” Kaladin vowed.

Shallan studied him and nodded. “I believe you. I’ll let you know.” She turned to head back to the tower.

Syl had been hovering nearby and flew closer. “Kal, do you think this is a good idea?” She wanted him to be happy and although it was a relief to know that Shallan wanted to help them, Syl felt like nobody seemed to realize that Kaladin could end up with a broken heart. Adolin had a reputation with women. What if Kaladin was the first in a line of men? 

Kaladin shrugged. “Probably not. But I’ve done many things in my life that didn’t seem like a particularly good idea. But at least this time I know I will be happy. Even if it’s just for one night.”

“Oh, Kal. You deserve so much more.”

He gave her a sad smile. “I don’t know about that. But I’m going to do this. Please don’t try and stop me.”

Syl shook her head. “I won’t.” As she watched him walk back to his recruits she could almost feel his loneliness. “I’ll be here for you when the night is over,” she whispered before taking to the skies.


	10. CHAPTER TEN

Adolin had found a room. Since it had been nearly impossible to just wander off alone he’d taken Teft with him, telling him he wanted to explore more of the tower. He dropped a small gemstone on the floor in front of the room while Teft was focussed on inspecting an intersection. That way Kaladin would know where to find him. And he would have to ask Shallan to soulcast some furniture. He continued down the hallway and after another hour they had inspected ten more rooms. One of them had some sort of built-in mechanism. Adolin knew that Navani would love to examine the device but he wasn’t going to tell her about it just yet. “I’ll report our findings to the queen. Thank you for assisting me, Teft. You can leave. Rock will never forgive me if I make you late for dinner.”

Teft smiled. He liked the Highprince. “Probably not, Brightlord.” He gave a short nod and headed back to his quarters.

Adolin went to find Shallan to tell her about the room. She promised him she would disguise herself and go up to the room to soulcast the furniture. As she was sure that Kaladin’s spren knew what was going on, she told Pattern to find Syl and give her a message for Kaladin.

……..

Teft sat down next to Drehy. “So when are you going to fill me in?”

Drehy tried to look innocent. “About what?”

“I’m not blind. Lopen may be an idiot but I’m starting to think he might be onto something. And I get the feeling that you and Rock think he isn’t completely delusional either.”

Drehy shifted in his seat and glanced at Rock who was handing out the stew. “You’re talking about Lopen. The man is as good in making up stories as Rock is in making stew.”

“Agreed. At first I thought he was insane for suggesting that Kaladin would be attracted to the Highprince. But I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Why?” Drehy managed to catch Rock’s attention and he gave him a short nod, indicating to the Horneater to join them.

“I don’t know,” Teft shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about that night when they met outside. And the more I do the more I’m convinced that maybe it wasn’t just a hug for comfort. But then again….It is Lopen we’re talking about.”

Rock sat down across the table. “Why are you talking about Lopen?”

Drehy leaned over the table. He didn’t want anyone else listening in. “Teft thinks that maybe Lopen isn’t completely crazy for thinking that Kaladin likes the Highprince.”

Rock let out a deep breath. He exchanged a look with Drehy and decided that Teft deserved to know the truth. “He’s not crazy. At least not in this specific situation. All the other times? Definitely crazy.”

Teft stared at him. “So it’s true? How do you know?”

Rock told him about what had happened that morning.

“Storms,” Teft said, a little baffled. “But they don’t stand a chance, do they?”

Drehy shook his head. “Not as long as the Highprince is married. But what I don’t understand is that I know Kal likes Radiant Shallan. And I’m sure he doesn’t want to betray her.”

Teft raised an eyebrow. “Assuming what you told me is true, that ship has definitely set sail this morning.”

Rock nodded. “True. But Drehy is right. it doesn’t make sense. Kal is an honorable man. So is the Highprince.” It bothered Rock. He felt a deep affection for his captain but he found it hard to accept that the man would betray a fellow Radiant. “It is none of our business,” he decided. And Lopen might mean well but he is only complicating things.” He leaned back. “I think we should stay out of this.”

Teft frowned. “I’d love to. Really. But do you honestly think we can?”

Drehy shrugged. “As long as we make sure Lopen doesn’t pull another stunt like this then we might.”

Teft sighed. “That’s like asking the Everstorm to turn into a gentle breeze.”

Rock groaned. “I know. But we have to try.”

……

Syl passed on the message from Pattern, and Kaladin wasn’t so sure that he liked the fact that even Shallan’s spren seemed to know what was going on. But then again Syl knew practically everything that was going on with him so it was to be expected that Pattern was aware of everything that happened in Shallan’s life. And knowing that he was going to spend the night with Adolin made him quickly forget about the spren. He felt both excited as well as anxious. It was like preparing for battle. Only this battle would involve a very different and much more enjoyable kind of close contact.

He managed to suppress his nerves until it was time for everybody to turn in. Kaladin got up. “I’m going to check on the guards outside. One of them is new and I want to be sure he knows what to do in case of an attack.”

Teft glanced at Drehy who immediately turned to Lopen. But Lopen was caught up in a discussion with Rock and didn’t even seem to notice that Kaladin was leaving.

Drehy shrugged as he looked at Teft. Maybe Kal really wanted to talk to the guard. It wasn’t unlike him to make sure that everybody knew exactly what was expected of them.

Teft nodded. No need to get suspicious about every move their captain made.

……

Kaladin felt his heart pound in his chest as he made his way to the higher floor. It didn’t take him long to find the tiny glowing gemstone. He took a deep breath before opening the door.

Adolin was already there, sitting on the edge of a very big and very comfortable bed. He looked up when Kaladin stepped in. It was clear he was nervous too. He gave Kaladin a hesitant smile as he got up. “Glad you could make it.”

“So am I,” Kaladin said before pulling Adolin in his arms and kissing him. “Are you really sure you want to do this?”

“Spend a night with you?” Adolin grinned. “Never been so sure of anything in my life.”

“But…”

Adolin interrupted him by giving him another kiss. “We’ll talk later. Now I just want to enjoy being alone with you.”

Kaladin chuckled. “Can’t argue with that.” He stepped over to the bed and pulled Adolin with him. “I’m about to mess up your very fashionable outfit. Do I have your permission, Brightlord?”

Adolin nodded as his hands were already busy unlacing Kaladin’s pants. “Permission granted.”

A few minutes later their clothes were piled up on the floor and Kaladin gently pushed Adolin onto the mattress. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered and began to leave a trail of kisses on the man’s chest. Adolin let out a soft moan as he buried his hands in Kaladin’s hair. Having Kaladin’s hands on him had been incredibly good but when he felt the man’s mouth on him he let out a loud gasp of pleasure. It sent a shiver through every nerve in his system.

Kaladin had never imagined doing this to a man but now it felt so natural to him. He wanted Adolin to squirm in pleasure. Pleasing him seemed like the most important thing in the world right now. And it made his own body react as well. 

When he finally pulled off, Adolin was panting in utter bliss and covered in a thin layer of sweat. Kaladin leaned in to kiss him. “Was that to your satisfaction?”

“Almighty, yes,” Adolin grinned. He managed to heave himself upright. “Now please, let me return the favor.”

Kaladin chuckled and fell back on the mattress. “Who am I to deny a request from the Highprince?”

Adolin kissed him passionately before making his way down. He loved the sounds coming from Kaladin as he satisfied the man. He had always been an attentive lover but it had never given him such an immense feeling of satisfaction to please his partner.

Kaladin cried out Adolin’s name as he reached his climax and after taking a moment to recover he pulled Adolin in his arms. “I never knew it could feel this way,” Kaladin whispered as he wrapped the man in his hold.

Adolin smiled lazily as he rested his head on Kaladin’s chest. “Neither did I.”

They laid in silence, coming down from their high and enjoying the feeling of being so close.

“You do realize that there is more that we can do, don’t you?” Adolin asked after a while. 

“I do,” Kaldin smiled. “But maybe we should figure out the logistics of that first.”

Adolin chuckled and lifted his head to look at Kaladin. “I outrank you.”

Kaladin raised an eyebrow. “Nice try. But I’m a Radiant.”

Adolin smiled and gave Kaladin a gentle kiss on his lips. “True. I guess I’m willing to accept that.”

Kaladin caressed Adolin’s face. “I know this can’t last. And as much as I would love to do that with you I’m not sure we should.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Kaladin hesitated. “Because I really like you. And doing that...it means a lot to me. And I’m not sure we’re ready for it.”

Adolin frowned and sat upright. “We’re alone. No one will bother us. Why wouldn’t we be ready?”

Kaldin smiled. “First of all, I need some time to recover.” But then his look turned serious. “And because you’re still married.”

Adolin’s frown deepened. “That didn’t seem to bother you ten minutes ago.”

“I know. It’s just… It’s different. It would feel like I would make you mine. And you’re not.”

Adolin was quiet for awhile. He let his fingers trail over Kaladin’s chest. “My marriage isn’t real. We both know that. Shallan knows that.”

Kaldin took Adolin’s hand and placed a gentle kiss on it. “But the rest of the world doesn’t know. And I doubt your father will let you annul the marriage.”

Adolin nodded sadly. “I’ve tried. He won’t give in.”

Kaldin let out a sigh. “And he’s not going to change his mind.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that I want to be with you.”

“Maybe not. But how do you think it will make me feel to sleep with you and stand guard the next day when you and Shallan entertain guests, pretending to be a happily married couple?”

Adolin groaned in frustration and fell back on the mattress. “My father can’t dictate how I feel.”

“No, he can’t,” Kaladin said softly as he rolled to his side and pulled Adolin back in his arms. “But he can dictate who you spend your life with.”

Adolin looked at Kaladin with determination in his eyes. “I’m not giving up on you. I’ll accept that you’re not ready for more yet. But only for now. I’m not willing to let you go.”

Kaladin smiled and kissed him. “Then I won’t give up either. But now I want to sleep with you in my arms.”

Adolin let out a soft sigh. “We’ll find a way,” he promised before closing his eyes.

“I really hope so,” Kaladin whispered. 

Within minutes they drifted off into sleep. Shallan’s drawing had come to life.


	11. Chapter 11

Dalinar was standing at the top of the tower, watching the sun rise. He was waiting for Jasnah. The conversation he’d had with Adolin had occupied his mind. He wanted his son to be happy and he truly believed that Shallan was the perfect wife for him. And he thought Adolin had felt the same. But something had changed. Although he could understand that dealing with Shallan’s personalities wasn’t easy, his son wasn’t one to back away from a challenge.

The door opened and Jasnah stepped outside followed by her guards. They waited next to the door while she walked over to Dalinar. She looked around and frowned at him. “Why did you want to meet me this early and why is there no one here from Bridge Four? I assumed they were your favorite guards.”

Dalinar nodded. “They are. But in this particular case I thought it best not to have them around.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m curious to hear what led you to that decision.”

Dalinar sighed. “Adolin and Shallan.”

Jasnah gave him a curious look. “I’m aware that Adolin spoke to you about their marriage. And you know that I talked to Shallan. Navani must have told you. So you also know that we both denied their request. Which makes me wonder why you asked for this meeting.”

“Because I want to make sure that this subject doesn’t come up again in the near future. We have a war on our hands and I need my son and my Radiants focused, and a stable and united House of Kholin.”

Jasnah nodded slowly. “That might be a challenge. Shallan has great potential but she can be incredibly stubborn sometimes. Do you believe that her personalities are the issue here?”

“No and yes,” Dalinar said. “No, because they both knew they would have to deal with that beforehand. And yes, because I believe it’s Veil causing the problem.”

“Because of her attraction to the windrunner?” 

Dalinar nodded. “It’s humiliating for Adolin. My son is a gentle and kind man but he’s also proud. I think he assumed that it would end once they were married but apparently it hasn’t and it must be humiliating for him that others can see it too. I think Veil wants to pull out of the marriage because she isn’t ready to let go of the captain. Radiant Shallan deserves happiness. She’s played a great part in sealing our victory. But I believe her happiness lies within their marriage. I can’t let Veil ruin that for her and my son.”

Jasnah sighed. “They are both exceptional people. It’s a shame they let their emotions ruin their potential.”

Dalinar smiled. “We’re not all like you, Jasnah. Not everybody is capable of switching off their feelings to focus on the goal ahead.”

“Unfortunately not. How do you propose we solve this problem?”

“I believe we have two options. Either we send Stormblessed on a mission. Maybe if he’s not here, Shallan will focus her attention on Adolin.”

“Or,” Jasnah said, “We’ll find a partner for Kaladin. I’ve heard that Queen Fen is quite taken with him.”

Dalinar raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Really? Well, I guess that’s a possibility too. But my other option was to strengthen their bond for the world to see. We could all use some time to take our attention away from all the suffering. Maybe we can host a party for a weekend. Nothing too elaborate, that would be in bad taste. But a way to work on our alliance. The Almighty knows it needs some mending after Thaylen City.”

Jasnah considered it. “Why not combine all of these options? We can host a party, make Adolin and Shallan the hosts as representatives of the House of Kholin, appoint Kaladin as Queen Fen’s personal guard and if that isn’t enough we’ll send Kaladin to stay with one of our allies to help them defend their Kingdom.”

Dalinar smiled. He loved how pragmatic Jasnah could be. It had been a wise choice to make her queen. “I’ll talk to them.”

“And I will ask Navani to send out invitations.”

……..

Adolin slowly woke up. He felt warm, rested, and happy. He opened his eyes and sighed happily at the sight of Kaladin. He looked so peaceful. Adolin wished he could lay here all day but it wouldn’t be long before people would start looking for him and Kaladin. He pressed a soft kiss on the man’s lips. “Morning, beautiful.”

Kaldin let out a soft groan before blinking his eyes open. He smiled at Adolin and tightened his hold. “Good morning, Highprince. Did you sleep well?”

“Never better,” Adolin said before kissing him again. “But I’m afraid we have to get out of this bed and out of this room.”

Kaladin groaned again but less happy this time. “Yeah, we probably should.” He heaved himself upright. He really didn’t want to leave because he highly doubted whether he would get a chance to be with Adolin again any time soon. 

Adolin ran his fingers over Kaladin’s back. “I want to sleep in your arms again.”

Before Kaladin could answer, they were interrupted by Pattern’s voice, coming from a perfect wrinkle on the bed sheet. “Brightlord Dalinar wants to meet with the Highprince.”

“Storms, Pattern,” Kaladin had almost summoned his Blade. “Can’t you knock? Or at least make some sort of knocking sound?”

Pattern hummed in confusion. “Knock who?”

Adolin groaned. “Forget it. Thank you, Pattern. For warning us. You can go back to Shallan now.”

Pattern slid off the bed sheet. He was trying out different knocking sounds as he disappeared under the door.

They quickly got dressed. 

“I’ll go first,” Kaladin said. “Nobody will find it strange if I’m walking patrol through these hallways.”

Adolin nodded and adjusted his shirt. “I’ll find a way for us to meet again soon.”

Kaldin smiled sadly. “I hope so.” He leaned in to kiss the Highprince and stepped outside. 

A few minutes later he opened the door. “It’s safe. You can leave. Take the stairs on the other end. Nobody ever goes there.”

Adolin hurried down the hallway. He didn’t look back because he wasn’t sure he would be able to resist the urge to drag Kaladin back into that room.

……

Adolin stared at his father. “So not only do you refuse my request but you want me and Shallan to be the centre of attention as the happily married couple.”

Dalinar nodded. “That is exactly what I’m telling you.”

“We are in the middle of a war. I think our marriage was enough celebrating for the coming year.”

“I disagree,” Dalinar said. “I’ve known from the beginning that only a unified Roshar would make it possible to win this war. And therefore we have to strengthen our unity. I don’t have to tell you that the battle in Thaylen City has damaged the alliance. A strong bond between a Highprince and a Radiant is exactly the kind of symbol we need right now.”

Adolin was silent as he stared out the window. After a few minutes he turned to Dalinar. “We will do as you say, father.” His voice was cold and to Dalinar’s surprise there was hurt instead of anger in his son’s eyes.

“Thank you, son. And if it makes you feel any better, I will assign Stormblessed to Queen Fen as her personal bodyguard.”

Now there was anger on Adolin’s face. “Why would that make me feel better? And why Queen Fen? That woman wants Kaladin for one reason only.”

Dalinar raised an eyebrow. He didn’t think he’d heard Adolin call the windrunner by his first name before. “I do not want the captain to be a distraction. And another union of a Radiant and a member of a royal household will only benefit us all.”

“Stormblessed will never marry her. It’s insane to even consider that.” Adolin felt an overwhelming urge to punch his father in his face. The man was right about Kaladin being a distraction. But not to Shallan. And the idea of having to watch Queen Fen trying to get Kaladin in her bed with his father’s blessing made his blood boil.

“I think I’ve been called insane for too long. And it turned out I was speaking the truth after all,” Dalinar said calmly.

“Not this time,” Adolin threw him a glare.

“That’s enough, son. You will talk to your wife. I expect the two of you to make this a success.”

Without saying another word Adolin marched out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

……..

Kaladin knew he couldn’t refuse a task assigned to him by the queen herself. But Storms, did he want to. Not only because he had no clue how to politely keep Queen Fen at bay but because he really didn’t want to be a part of this at all. Having to watch Adolin and Shallan as a happy couple made fighting Parshmen an appealing way to spend his time. But Jasnah’s look alone was enough to know that the only option he had was to accept. 

“I will guard her with my life, Brightness.”

“I know you will. Queen Fen is an important ally. We want to make sure she feels very welcome, and I know she has taken a liking to you,” she smiled.

Kaladin pretended not to know what she was implying. “I will keep her safe,” he promised and turned to leave.

“And happy,” Jasnah added before he stepped outside.

He cursed inwardly as he made his way back to Bridge Four.

Teft looked up when Kaladin walked in. “I’ve heard that we’re in for a few days of overtime. Is that true, Kal?”

Kaladin said down, his mood worse than usual. “Yes. Apparently it’s a good idea to gather everyone who might be able to help win this war within this tower.”

Drehy said down next to him. “Who are we assigned to?”

“Dalinar will let you know. I’m assigned to guard Queen Fen.”

Lopen joined them. “Fen? I’ve heard rumors she has a thing for a particular windrunner.” He didn’t sound very pleased. Which was remarkable since the man normally loved anything that could potentially turn into a good story.

Kaladin shook his head. “Stupid rumors, Lopen. Don’t believe everything they tell you. Besides, I’m not in the least interested in Queen Fen.”

“No, of course not,” Lopen blurted out.

It earned him a glare from Drehy.

“Uh, I mean you’re one of us. You would never be interested in a royal,” Lopen quickly added.

Another, more deadly glare from Drehy.

Teft intervened. “Lopen hit his head while attempting, and of course failing, to walk on the ceiling again, Kal. Don’t mind him.”

Kaladin sighed. “We’ll have to check every guard they bring along. I trust you all to keep everybody safe.” He got up. “Teft, come with me. We need to make sure we have enough gemstones in case of an attack.”

Drehy watched them walk away. “He looks more miserable than I’ve seen him in months.”

“No wonder,” Lopen sighed. “Having to fend off Queen Fen without insulting her while watching Adolin and Shallan be the happy couple.” He turned to Rock who just walked in. “Hey Rock, I didn’t see Kaladin this morning when I got up. Since you are always the first one to get out of bed I wondered if you’d seen him.”

“No,” Rock said. He looked around to check if anyone could hear them. When he found it was just the three of them he sat down and leaned over. “He didn’t sleep in his own bed,” he whispered. “Nor did the Highprince.”

Drehy immediately turned to Lopen. “What did you do?”

“Nothing! I swear.”

Rock gave a soft growl. “Keep your voice down. And no, Drehy. This time it wasn’t Lopen who set it up. It was Brightness Shallan.”

If Drehy hadn’t been so shocked himself he probably would have laughed out loud when Lopen spit out his drink, all over Rock’s shirt.


	12. CHAPTER TWELVE

“Radiant Shallan?” Lopen asked, dumbfounded.

Rock nodded. He seemed relieved. “Yes. I have spoken with our little goddess. It seems that Radiant Shallan and the Highprince have agreed that they want to annul their marriage. She feels she is not ready. And neither is the Highprince. They have decided that they prefer to be friends.”

Drehy leaned back in his chair. “And she knows that Kal and the Highprince have a thing for each other?”

Rock sighed. “Yes. And she approves. She helped them to spend the night together.”

Drehy studied Rock. “But that’s a good thing. We now know that Kal isn’t betraying Radiant Shallan. So why the long face?”

Rock took a deep breath. “For two reasons. Brightlord Dalinar and Queen Jasnah will not allow the annulment.”

“Why?” Lopen asked. “Brightlord Dalinar knows better than anyone that you shouldn’t stand in the way of true love.”

Drehy frowned. “I think Brightlord Dalinar knows better than anyone that true love has to take a backseat to politics when you’re a member of the House of Kholin.”

Lopen's shoulders sagged. “You mean that they want to keep up the facade for the sake of unity?”

Drehy nodded. “That would be my guess.”

“Your guess is right,” Rock said. “And they only told them they wanted to be friends. They never mentioned our captain.”

“So they don’t know Kal and the Highprince are in love?” Lopen asked.

Rock slowly shook his head. “No. And that brings me to the second reason why I’m worried. Is the Highprince really in love with our captain? Or is he going to treat Kal like he did all those women before Radiant Shallan?”

Drehy groaned. “Fighting Parshmen is starting to sound pretty easy compared to this.”

Lopen got up. “I need to know what exactly they told Brightlord Dalinar and the Queen.”

Rock gave him a warning glare. “What are you going to do?”

“Talk to Radiant Shallan.”

Drehy shook his head. “Oh no, Lopen. Bad idea.”

But Lopen was already heading for the door. “You really should have a little more faith in me,” he smiled before stepping outside.

Rock got up to stop him but Drehy stopped him. “Let him go, Rock. Maybe he’s right. We should give him some credit. He was the first one to figure out what was going on. So let’s give him a chance. It’s not like we have a solution.”

Rock grudgingly agreed and sat back down again. “I don’t want our captain to get hurt.”

“Neither do I, Rock. Neither do I.”

………….

Adolin was pacing his room. He had to find a way to stop this. He didn’t want to flaunt his marriage in Kaladin’s face. What if the windrunner decided Dalinar was right? Adolin knew how committed Kaladin was to winning this war. If he believed, like Dalinar, that this marriage was essential to help build the alliance, Kaladain would pull back. And that would break Adolin’s heart. Because when he woke up this morning in Kaladin’s hold he’d realized that he loved the man. It was something he’d never felt before. The absolute certainty that he didn’t want to spend another day without Kaladin by his side. He was willing to sacrifice everything. His title, the approval of his father, his Shardplate, his Blade. Everything that had seemed so important to him. And the thought of Queen Fen touching the love of his life made him see red and made his fingers itch to summon his Blade.

The door opened and Shallan stepped inside, followed by Lopen.

Adolin felt instantly worried. Shallan would never bring anyone into their room unless it was an emergency. “Why are you here?” he asked Lopen. “Is there something wrong with Kal?”

When Shallan chuckled he realized he had blurted that out without realizing that it would seem a very odd question to Lopen. It would have made a lot more sense if he’d asked if there was something wrong with his father or the Queen.

But Lopen was grinning widely. “I guess you were, right, Brightness,” he said to Shallan. “He really does care.”

Shallan sat down on one of the chairs. “Never doubt a Radiant, Lopen.”

Adolin looked at her in confusion, a blush coloring his cheeks. “What is going on?”

Shallan gestured to Lopen. “Apparently some men of Bridge Four are very aware of what’s been going on between you and Kaladin. In fact, it was Lopen who came up with the idea to lock the two of you up in that room. That wasn’t an accident.”

Adolin’s eyes widened and he turned to Lopen. “Is that true?”

Lopen nodded happily.

“But how did you know?”

Lopen shrugged. “That’s my talent, Brightlord. I know what people need.”

Adolin wasn’t sure how to react. He slowly sat down. “Why are you here?”

Lopen’s look turned serious. “Because we need to know if you’re serious about this. Kal has been through enough. We don’t want him to get hurt. He really cares about you.”

“Really?”

Both Shallan and Lopen chuckled at the hopeful tone in Adolin’s voice.

“Really, Brightlord,” Lopen nodded. “So, how are we going to solve this problem?”

“I’m going to tell my father the truth,” Adolin said determinedly. 

Shallan studied him. “And what is that exactly?”

“That I love him. That I need him like my father needs Navani.”

She smiled approvingly. “That is probably the only argument he’ll actually listen to. And hopefully we’re in time to call off this ridiculous party or whatever they want to call it. No offense, Adolin, but I really don’t want to pretend we’re happily married. I'm not sure Veil won’t interfere.”

That made Adolin chuckle. “That would certainly add some life to the party.” He turned to Lopen who was glowing with happiness. “Where is Kal? I need to talk to him.”

“He and Teft went to check the amount of gemstones. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

“Tell him to meet me at the top of the tower.”

Lopen grinned. “Gladly.” He gave them both a salute before leaving.

Shallan got up. “I’m glad that you’ve come to realize that you love him. I think you’re going to make an amazing couple and it makes me happy to be part of making it happen. I’m going to make sure Jasnah doesn’t send out those invitations.”

Adolin pulled her into a hug. “Thank you. You’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for.”

She smiled. “Yeah, I’m rather amazing,” she said before hurrying out the door to find Jasnah.

…….

Drehy looked up when Lopen came back. He’d been trying to keep Rock distracted because the Horneater was on the verge of going after Lopen and hauling him back. 

Lopen sat down but didn’t say a thing, just stared at them with a blank expression. 

Rock growled and leaned over the table. “Speak up, man.”

“Well…” Lopen began but then he paused. “I’m not sure I have to tell you since you didn’t want me to go in the first place.”

Drehy managed to grab Rock’s arm just in time but he threw a warning glare at Lopen. “Seriously Lopen, either you tell us now or I’ll gladly let him toss you out the window.”

Lopen grinned. “The Highprince loves our captain.”

Rock slowly sank back in his chair. “Loves him? Are you sure?”

Lopen looked a little offended. “I would never lie about something like that, you big fool.”

Rock just smiled. He was too happy to be bothered by the insult.

Drehy let out a deep sigh of relief. “And now what?”

Lopen told him what had happened. “So now we just have to find Kal and send him to the top of the tower.”

Drehy got up. “I’ll try and find him. The two of you wait here in case he comes back.”

…….

“Excuse me?” Jasnah said as he looked up from her desk. “I thought I’ve made myself very clear on the matter.”

Shallan nodded. It was weird not to feel intimidated by her. But this was too important. This time she was going to stand her ground. “You did. We just happen to disagree. And I assure you that there is a very valid reason for that, Brightness. And nothing you can say will make me and Adolin pretend to be happily married at some gathering. Of course we will attend and I’ll help anyway that I can and I’m sure Adolin will too. But this is not going to be about us or our marriage. Because that will be over soon.”

Jasnah was quiet as she studied Shallan. “You seem very sure about this. What if I tell you that you don’t have a choice?”

Shallan took a deep breath and met Jasnah’s gaze. “I am a Radiant. The House of Kholin needs me. And I will be loyal to you and Dalinar. I will give my life to win this war. But you will not force me to stay in this marriage.”

Jasnah raised an eyebrow and she seemed to consider her options. “Very well,” she finally said. “We will hold this gathering without any emphasis on you and Adolin. But I do expect an explanation before we consider annulling your marriage.”

Shallan nodded. “Yes, Brightness. Adolin wishes to speak to his father first but then we will answer every question you might have.”

Jasnah raised an eyebrow. She felt that there may be a very different reason to their wish to end this marriage than she and Dalinar had suspected. “Very well. You may leave now.”

Shallan turned and headed out with a smile on her face. Storms, standing her ground had felt so good. She could almost feel both Veil and the Radiant’s approval. 

Pattern hummed happily. “You are indeed a very worthy Radiant.”

………

Adolin was leaning against the railing looking out over the Plains. He had a smile on his face. Nothing was going to stop him from being with Kaladin now. Not even his father or Jasnah. And that was all that mattered. But he was still a little nervous. Did Kaladin really love him too? But he pushed those doubts aside. Lopen had been sure. He turned around when he heard the door open, his heart pounding in his chest, only to find Drehy there.

Adolin felt his happiness take a nosedive as he saw the look on Drehy’s face. “What is it? Where is he?”

“He’s gone.”

“Gone? What do you mean ‘gone’?” Adolin felt something akin to panic rise in him.

“He left. He’s nowhere to be found. But he did leave this,” he held out a note to Adolin.

Adolin stepped closer and took the note from Drehy.

'I need to leave. Tell Dalinar I’ll be back one day. Take care of eachother. KS'

Adolin’s heart grew cold. “No,” he whispered softly. “No he can’t leave me. He can’t.” He felt like somebody had just pushed him into the chasms.

Drehy knew that the Highprince really did love their captain when he saw the look on Adolin’s face. He felt an urge to pull the man in a hug but that wasn’t an option. Instead, he said, “We’ll find him, Brightlord.”

Adolin crumpled the note while fighting back his tears. He turned to look out over the vast plains, “Come back to me, Kal,” he whispered. “I need you.”


	13. CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Kaladin crawled into the cave. The entrance was small and well hidden but it was spacious inside. He sat down and leaned against the wall, his eyes closed.

Syl settled on his knee and stayed silent until he finally looked at her.

“Why, Kal? You never abandon your duties. You never abandon Bridge Four.”

“Because if I want to save what’s left of my heart I had no choice but to leave.”

She smiled sadly. “You love him, don’t you?”

“More than I have ever loved anyone before. He makes me feel alive. He gives me hope. When he kisses me it’s like all the weight I always carry around is finally lifted off my shoulders.”

“Oh, Kal,” Syl sighed. “I’m so sorry. But he does seem to care about you too. Why run away from a chance at happiness?”

Kaladin huffed. “Because it’s never going to happen. He may care about me but he’s also married to Shallan.”

“I know. But they want to annul their marriage.”

“Maybe. But that’s also never going to happen. The fact that they both have a problem with adjusting to Shallan’s personalities will never be a good enough reason for either Dalinar or Jasnah to agree.”

She wrinkled her nose. “It’s their marriage. Why can’t Shallan and Adolin decide?”

Kaladin sighed. “Politics, Syl. A united House of Kholin. Another sacrifice that has to be made because of the war. But I’m done. I’ve sacrificed everything in my life. I can not stand by and watch Adolin and Shallan look like the happy couple. I just can’t.”

“Will you ever go back?”

Kaladin nodded. “Eventually. And I will help win this war. But I can do that on so many fronts. For now I will stay away from Urithiru.” He wrapped his arms around himself. “I’m going to miss him so much, Syl,” he said softly, a tear running down his cheek.

She rose from his knee and flew to his face, pressing a featherlight kiss on his cheek. “I’ll stay with you. You’re not alone in this.”

And in that dark cave, somewhere in a forest, far away from the tower, Kaladin broke down and started to cry.

……..

Adolin had managed to pull himself together. He straightened his shoulders and headed downstairs. Drehy had already left twenty minutes ago and he decided to go to the quarters of Bridge Four to see what they were planning to do to find Kaladin. But he was met by his father, who was wearing a deep frown on his face.

“Adolin, what is going on? I’m told that Stormblessed has left and he won’t be coming back.”

“Not now, father,” Adolin felt his anger grow as he looked at his father. If the man had just granted him their wish to annul the marriage, Kaladin would never have left.

“Now, son,” Dalarin said as he turned to head to his chamber. “Come with me.”

Adolin hesitated but then he figured he might as well start by telling his father the truth. So he followed him down the corridor.

Teft was standing guard. He looked upset and clearly not happy to be here. The man probably wanted to find Kaladin instead of standing guard.

Dalinar turned to him. “You may leave. I need to have a private conversation with my son.”

Adolin shook his head. “No, he can stay. He knows.”

Dalinar raised an eyebrow. “Knows what?”

“That I love Kaladin.”

Despite everything that brought a smile to Teft’s face.

His father on the other hand wasn’t smiling. He just stared at Adolin, dumbfounded. “What did you just say, son?”

“I love Kaladin.” Storms, it felt good to say that out loud to his father. “Yes, I have a problem with Shallan’s personalities. And yes, she really wants out of this marriage too. But the only thing that really matters to me is that I want to be with Kaladin. I need to be with him.”

Dalinar slowly sank in his chair. “You and the windrunner? When did this happen?”

Adolin started pacing the room. “I’ve always been fond of him. Well almost always. He annoyed me to no end as well. But a while ago I realized just how important he is to me. He’s brave. Kind. Beautiful. Strong and independent. He doesn’t care about my status or about politics. He’s the sincerest person I’ve ever met. He…” Adolin took a breath and met his father’s gaze. “He makes me feel life is worth living. I love him.”

Dalinar was quiet as he tried to process what his son was telling him. “He’s your Navani,” he said finally.

Adolin nodded. “He is, father. And that’s why I can’t give up on him.”

“But why did he leave?”

Adolin felt his anger return. “What do you think? Because you and Jasnah want me and Shallan to stay married. And on top of that you thought it was a good idea to push him into the claws of Queen Fen.” He forced himself to calm down and took a deep breath. “And I never got the chance to tell him that I love him.”

Dalinar rubbed his forehead. “I thought it was Veil. That her flirtation with Kaladin was the problem. But that it would be a temporary thing. That she would eventually realize that she wanted to stay with you and keep Veil out of your marriage.”

Adolin rolled his eyes. “Have you ever met Veil? She is rather strong willed. To put it mildly. But the real problem is that Shallan has a lot to work through, father. Her past was horrible. You don’t know half of it. And she needs to deal with that first. Forcing her to rein in her personalities will slowly kill her. And I care about her. She cares about me. We’ll be friends forever. But we don’t want to be married. She needs her freedom. I need Kal.”

Dalinar leaned back in his chair. “Do you know where he is?”

The sadness returned on Adolin’s face. He shook his head. “No.”

Dalinar turned to Teft. “Do you know?”

“No, Brightlord. But Drehy, Rock, Lopen, and myself want to go find him.”

Dalinar shook his head. “You can’t leave. I need you here.” But one look at Adolin made him change his mind. He recognized the despair on his son’s face. That was how he’d felt when he thought he’d lost Navani forever. He sighed. “Fine. You can try and find him. But I want you to be back here in two days.”

“I’m going with them,” Adolin said.

Dalinar nodded. He knew he couldn’t refuse. Because he didn’t want his son to suffer the way he’d suffered all those years before finally making Navani his wife. “Be careful.”

Adolin hugged his father. “Thank you,” he whispered before turning to Teft. “Let’s go and find him.”

Teft smiled gratefully at Dalinar. “Thank you, Brightlord. I will send another member of Bridge Four to guard you.”

When they had left, Dalinar heard the door to his bedroom open. Navani was standing there, smiling at him. She walked over to Dalinar and kissed him.

“I’m guessing you heard the whole thing?”

“I did. And I’m so proud of you,” she said. “He deserves love as much as his father does.”

……..

Shallan looked up when Adolin burst into their room. “Almighty, I’m so happy to see you. What is going on? Pattern just told me that Kal has left.”

Adolin nodded and opened his wardrobe to pull out clothes that were more comfortable when flying over Roshar. “We’re going to find him. I also talked to my father. I told him I love Kal. He understands.”

Shallan couldn’t help but smile. “That’s a good thing.”

Adolin pulled off his shirt. “It is. But if I don’t find Kal…”

She got up to give him a hug. “You’ll find him. I know you will.”

Adolin sighed as he put on his trousers. “I hope so. But it’s not going to be easy. He could be anywhere.”

Shallan picked up her notebook and a pencil. “Maybe I can help.” She sat down, closed her eyes and began to draw.

Adolin watched as he buttoned up his shirt. A range of mountains appeared in the background and then her pencil focused on a small entrance at the foot of a slope. When it was done, she put her pencil down and opened her eyes. “He’s there.”

Adolin picked up the drawing and studied it. “That helps. But where are these mountains?”

“East,” Pattern hummed from Shallan’s skirt.

“East?” Shallan asked. “Are you sure, Pattern?”

He hummed again. “I can feel the windrunners’s spren. East.”

Adolin grabbed his jacket and kissed Shallan on her cheek. “Thank you.” He looked down at Shallan’s skirt. “And thank you too, Pattern.”

“Mmm,” Pattern hummed. “Find him, Highprince. Perfect match.”

Adolin smiled. “Perfect match. I agree.” He rolled up the drawing and headed out the door.

………

Drehy had found a room where they could talk without getting interrupted. They gathered around the table where Adolin had laid down the drawing next to a map of Roshar.

“So, Shallan drew this. She is convinced he’s in that cave. Pattern said that the mountain range is somewhere East. We have to go over the map to figure out where this could be.”

Rock picked up the drawing. “We don’t need a map. I know where this is. Horneaters’s Peaks. My homeland.”

“Are you sure?” Drehy asked as he studied the drawing.

Rock huffed. “You think I don’t recognize my homeland, airsick lowlander?”

Drehy grinned at him. “I wouldn’t dare. Let’s go.” He looked at Adolin. “Ready to fly again, Brightlord?”

“Not really. But if it means I will get Kaladin back I’ll gladly fly through an Everstorm.”

Teft grinned. “Just stay out of the way of Lopen or you might end up in the Reshi Sea.”

Before Lopen could protest Rock grabbed him by his arm. “Not now. We have to hurry. Kal won’t stay in that cave forever.”

Ten minutes later they lashed themselves up into the sky towards the Horneater’s Peaks.

……..

Kaladin had finally fallen asleep but after a few hours he was woken by Syl, calling his name. His eyes snapped open and the moment he did, the pain of being separated from Adolin hit him hard. He forced it down and looked at Syl. “What’s wrong?”

She looked nervous. “I didn’t know if I should tell you this but they’re coming.”

Kaldin immediately rose to his feet. “Who? The Fused?”

She shook her head. “No. No, Bridge Four. I can feel them coming our way.”

Kaladin cursed. “How did they figure out where I am?”

Syl looked guilty. “I think it’s me. I could feel Pattern reach for me.”

“How long before they get here?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. They don’t have your speed but it won’t take them much longer now.”

Kaladin cursed again. “We need to leave.” He grabbed his bag but then he hesitated. “You can’t come with me.”

Syl’s eyes widened. “You can’t abandon me too, Kal. I belong with you.”

“So does Adolin. But I need to get away from him as well. And if you stay with me, they’ll find me. Maybe Shallan has come along. Together with Pattern.”

She bowed her head and her little shoulders sagged. “You can’t break our bond, Kaladin Stormblessed.”

“I know,” he said, his voice softer now. “And I don’t want to.”

“You do. You’re going to leave me. They were right all along.”

Kaladin felt the desperation almost overwhelm him. “Syl, I’m not breaking our bond. But I need to make sure they can’t find me. And they won’t. But they can find you. Please, I promise we’ll be together again. They will give up the search soon enough. I doubt Dalinar will let them leave the tower for much longer than a day or two. He’ll want everybody there when the gathering starts.”

She nodded without looking up at him. “Do you really promise you’ll call for me?”

Kaladin knelt down in front of her. “I swear, Syl.”

Syl raised her head and looked at him, sadness on her face. “Be careful, Kal. I’m not sure I’ll be able to become your Blade soon enough when you’re far away.”

He nodded. “I understand. I’ll be careful.”

He strapped the bag over his shoulders and climbed out of the cave, feeling completely alone now.


	14. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Following Rock’s directions, they landed close to the cave. It took Adolin a moment to gain his footing. Flying always made him dizzy. 

It was already getting dark and it took them another twenty minutes to find the entrance to the cave. If it hadn’t been for Shallan’s drawing they would have missed it. 

Teft looked at Adolin. “I think you should go in first, Brightlord. We’ll wait outside.”

Adolin nodded. He took a deep breath and crouched down. He was about to tell the love of his life that he wanted to share his life with him and it made Adolin feel both elated as well as nauseated. What if Kal would turn him down? What if he would have to leave him behind? He pushed that thought aside and crawled inside. 

A small gemstone lit up the empty cave. Adolin scrambled to his feet and looked around with a feeling of despair. No. No, this couldn’t be happening. He picked up the gemstone and inspected the cave. No sign of Kaladin. Adolin slowly sank to the floor. Had Kaladin known that they were coming? Had he left to avoid them? Did the man really want nothing to do with him anymore?

He tried to get the upcoming feeling of sadness under control. How were they ever going to find him now? They had only one day left. And they would have to go back to the tower to ask Shallan and Pattern for more clues. He should have taken her with them. He wiped the tears from his face and turned to leave the cave when he heard a soft voice coming from the shadows.

“Why are you here?” 

Adolin nearly dropped the gemstone. “Syl?” he asked hopefully.

“Why are you here?”

He held up the gemstone and when he saw her sitting on a small rock in the corner he crouched down in front of her. “Because I need to find Kaladin. Do you know where he is? And why are you still here?”

She studied him. “He thought Pattern would be able to trace me. Why do you want to find him?”

“Because I love him.”

“Like you love your Blade?”

Adolin shook his head.

“Like you love Radiant Shallan?”

He shook his head again.

She wrinkled her nose. “Like you love fashion?”

Despite everything that made him laugh out loud. “No Syl, I love him like nothing else. I love him because he’s Kal. Because everything about him makes me want to be with him. I want to bond with him. For life.”

Syl was quiet for a while. “But he has a bond with me.”

“I know, Syl. And I never want to break that. Not that I ever could. Your bond with him is something sacred. My bond with him is different.”

“But just as important?”

Adolin nodded. “To me it is.”

“I think it’s important to him too.”

That made him smile. “Do you really think so?”

She looked serious. “Yes. I think you’re the Shardplate for his heart. You can make it whole again.”

The tears that Adolin felt burning were of happiness this time. “Then help me find him, Syl. So we can both be with him again.”

She hesitated. “I don’t think he wants me to tell you.”

Adolin smiled. “But maybe that’s because he doesn’t know how much I love him.”

Syl wrinkled her nose again as she considered it. “I think that is true. But will you leave Radiant Shallan?”

“I’m never going to leave her as a friend. But she won’t be my wife anymore.”

“What about politics? Will your father and the queen agree?”

Adolin nodded. “My father understands. He wants me to find Kal and bring him back. He will give us his blessing.”

A small smile appeared on Syl’s face. “Then I’ll come with you. I think I can find him.”

……..

Jasnah was working on a manuscript when Dalinar stepped inside. 

“I’m sorry to bother you but we need to talk,” he said as he gestured to the guard to leave the room.

She put her pencil down and leaned back in her chair. “Has it something to do with Stormblessed disappearing?”

Dalinar nodded as he sat down. “Yes. But for different reasons than you might think.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Really? Do tell.”

“It turns out it isn’t Shallan who likes the windrunner.”

Now she raised both of her eyebrows. “It’s not? Then who is it? It’s not...” She let out a soft gasp. “It’s Adolin.”

Dalinar looked at her in surprise. “You figured that out quickly.” 

She smiled. “I sensed there was something more that Shallan wasn’t telling me. Although I did believe and understood her reasons for wanting out of the marriage, I felt that there was something she wasn’t telling me.” 

“Well, there definitely is. My son told me that he loves Stormblessed. And I don’t mean the kind of ‘love’ he expressed for the long line of women who came before Shallan. No, this is different. I’ve never seen him like this. I think he was prepared to give everything up right then and there. His title, his Blade, his Shardplate.”

She sighed but there was a smile in her eyes. “And you couldn’t deny him, could you?”

“No. I couldn’t. I know what that means. Especially now. When the world seems to come crashing down around you, loving someone like that can be the only thing that keeps you going.”

She picked up her pencil. “I guess Shallan knows this and has no objections against a union between the windrunner and your son?”

“She knows. And she believes they belong together.”

“Well, I guess it’s no use discussing this any further then. They can have their annulment. We need them all. Shallan, Stormblessed, and Adolin. They are crucial to winning this war. So we don’t want them to be focused on other matters.” She resumed her work.

Dalinar got up and smiled. “I knew you would take a pragmatic approach. But Jasnah,” he said before stepping outside, “I know you well enough to think that you really want them to be happy too.”

Her look softened. “I do. They’re special. All three of them. And considering their characters I think the windrunner and Adolin might be a perfect match.”

Somewhere in the tower, Pattern hummed appreciatively. “Perfect match, yes.”

……..

They all sat down inside the cave where Rock was preparing a stew with the ingredients he’d brought. There was a small opening in the ceiling that provided enough ventilation. They didn’t want to start a campfire outside and attract unwanted visitors.

Lopen looked at Syl who was sitting on Adolin’s shoulder with her eyes closed.

“Found him yet?”

Rock threw him a glare. “Don’t interrupt the little goddess. She will speak when she is ready.”

Syl didn’t answer, a look of deep concentration on her face.

Adolin had to fight the urge not to press her because it felt like her silence lasted forever.

When Rock started to hand out the bowls of food she finally opened her eyes. “I can’t find him,” she said, sounding very upset.

Adolin almost cursed at her but Rock gave her an encouraging smile and said. “I’m sure you can, little goddess. Maybe he’s asleep.”

She frowned. “Probably. But I still should be able to sense him. I’ve tried every part of Roshar. But I feel nothing.”

Adolin couldn’t hold back any longer. “That’s impossible!” And then a horrible thought occurred to him. “He’s not dead, is he?”

Lopen growled. “Don’t ever say that again. Kal’s not dead. No one can kill him.”

Teft shifted uneasily. “Don’t be stupid, Lopen. Nobody thinks he’s dead. The Highprince is just worried.”

Lopen got angry. “He can shove those worries somewhere where the sun doesn’t shine.”

Drehy put a hand on his arm. “Calm down, Lopen. You can’t speak to the Highprince like that.”

“No? Can’t I?” Lopen got up and pointed a finger at Adolin. “You should have told him. You should have had the courage to tell your father to his face that he had no right to decide whether you were to stay married or not. Refused to be part of that ridiculous party where you and Radiant Shallan would be paraded around. Then Kal never would have left.”

Teft yanked him back down. “Lopen! Apologize right now.”

But Adolin shook his head. “He doesn’t have to apologize. Because he’s right.” He met Lopen’s angry glare. “I’m sorry. If I could do this all over again I would have handled it differently. But you must understand that this has been utterly confusing for me too. And I know you’re just as worried about him as I am. And you’re also right when you say he isn’t dead. Not only because he’s the best warrior any of us has ever seen but because I would have felt it.”

Lopen grumbled something under his breath which earned him a swat on his head from Teft. “Try again.”

Lopen looked up at Adolin. “I’m sorry, Brightlord. It’s just...”

“It’s okay, Lopen. I understand.”

Syl had quietly settled on Rock’s shoulder and closed her eyes again. The big Horneater seemed to have a calming effect on her. 

They finished their meal in silence and settled down for the night. None of them wanted to go to sleep but there was nothing they could do. It would be pointless to fly out at night when they had no clue where to go. 

……..

It was early morning when they were all awoken by Syl who was yelling at them to wake up. She was dancing in the air. “I found him!” 

Adolin was wide awake instantly. “Where is he? Is he alright?”

She smiled happily. “Yes, Yes, he’s fine. He is still asleep. No wonder I couldn’t find him though.”

Lopen heaved himself upright. “What do you mean?”

Syl hovered in front of him. “Because I searched all of Roshar except for…..”

Adolin smiled. “The Shattered Plains. He thought we were never going to search for him close to home.”

She nodded and winked at Adolin whose eyes were filled with hope again. “You do understand him.”

Rock was already gathering their gemstones. “Lead the way, little goddess.”

Ten minutes later they were heading back home, Syl leading the way, a silver ribbon lit up by the morning sun.

……..

Kaladin woke from a pain in his back. He’d been sleeping on a ridge in the chasms. It felt familiar to be down here. Cold, wet and dark. It reminded him of the days that life had seemed hopeless. Which wasn’t very different from how he was feeling right now. He heaved himself upright and leaned with his back against the wall. 

As the sunlight slowly chased away the darkest shadows, his mind went back to those days. And with the darkness dissolving he also remembered the hope he’d felt down here. That life might get better. How he trained with Bridge Four to find a way out of their miserable existence. He tried to cling onto that feeling of hope. Was there hope for him and Adolin? Could he somehow manage to deal with Adolin being married and having him as his secret lover? Would the happiness that it would give him during the night outweigh the pain of knowing he could never really have him?

Kaladin sighed and closed his eyes. He wrapped his hand around the small stone he had been carrying with him ever since Adolin had given it to him. He wanted so desperately to be able to cope with their marriage, but he knew he couldn’t yet. It was like life was a battle and you were sent to the frontline with a kitchen knife while you knew you had a perfect Honorblade that you weren’t allowed to use. And Kaladin was so tired of fighting. Fighting for food. Shelter. Fighting to save others. Fighting to save his own life. Fighting for respect. Fighting this feeling of desperation. And his mind went back to that moment he was standing on that ledge. Wondering if it wasn’t better to just end it all. The nothingness that awaited welcoming him in.

He took a deep breath and chased those thoughts away. He’d come this far. He had friends now. People who not only relied on him but whom he could trust with his life. And there was a war to be won. Surely with everything he’d been through he’d be able to survive this as well. Somehow.

Kaladin stood upright and jumped down into the depths of the chasms. He would just have to hide here for a few days. And when they called off the search he’d leave and come back when eventually the sharp pain in his heart had turned into that familiar numb ache.


	15. CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Syl guided them to a plateau not far from the tower. “He’s close,” she smiled. “I can feel him in that direction,” she said, pointing eastward. 

Rock frowned. “He must be down in the chasms. We’ll have to be careful.”

Teft looked at Adolin. “Maybe we should go down while you wait here, Brightlord. Lopen can stay with you.”

Adolin raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? You think I’m just going to sit here and wait? I’m going in,” he said as he walked over to the edge of the plateau.

Rock stepped in front of Adolin. “We do not wish to disrespect you, Brightlord. But there are many dangers in the chasms. And we’ve been down there many times. Let us find him.”

But Adolin shook his head and stretched out his arm. “No. You can’t stop me.” He took a deep breath. “Nothing can stop me.” His Blade formed in his hand.

Rock sighed and let go. “But you must let us lead the way.”

“Fine. But when we find him I want to talk to him first.” He looked at Syl. “Can you guide us in the right direction?”

She nodded and dove down into the chasms. 

Teft wrapped an arm around Adolin. “I’m sorry Brightlord but it’s the only way to get you down safely,” he said before jumping off the ridge, pulling Adolin with him.

……..

Shallan was standing at the top of the tower, looking out over the Plains, when she heard the door open behind her. She turned around and found Renarin standing there, a deep frown on his face.

“Renarin, what’s wrong?”

He walked past her without saying a word and leaned over the railing, his eyes fixed on the horizon.

Shallan felt a shiver run down her spine. She walked over and stood next to him. “Renarin, what is it? Is there something wrong?”

It took another minute before he finally started to speak. “I don’t know. I just feel that something important is about to happen.”

“Important? What do you mean? Renarin, you are starting to scare me.”

He tore his gaze away and turned to look at her. “Something is about to change. And it will affect us all.”

Shallan tried to stay calm but inside she could feel the fear almost taking over. “Is it bad?”

Renarin closed his eyes. “I don’t know. It’s very powerful.” 

“Storms, Renarin! I need more than that. Are we about to get attacked? Do I need to warn Dalinar?”

He shook his head. “No. It’s like something is about to fall into place. Something that was meant to be all along.”

Pattern hummed. “Yes. It’s perfect.”

Shallan looked at Pattern. “Did he find him?” she whispered.

“Almost, Radiant Shallan. Almost.”

She let out a deep sigh of relief. “I think I might know what it is, Renarin,” she smiled.

He looked at her in surprise. “You know what is about to happen?”

“Yes. And you’re right. It was meant to be.”

……

Adolin decided that he never ever wanted to go down here again. It was cold and dark but the thing that he hated the most was the smell of decay. He had almost tripped over a rotting corpse and if it wasn’t for Kaladin he would have climbed out of here, never to come back again. He was trying to wrap his head around the fact that Bridge Four had survived in these chasms for so long. That they had found hope in this horrible place. It made him admire Kaladin even more. He couldn’t imagine the strength needed to seek a way out of these miserable circumstances. And make the members of Bridge Four believe in a better future. He made a promise to himself that he would do everything in his power to make Kaladin happy. To try and make up for all the pain he had to endure.

Syl suddenly stopped. “He’s close,” she whispered. “He’ll be able to hear us soon and then he might run.”

Rock cursed softly. “If he does run we’ll never catch him.”

Adolin took a step forward. “He won’t get away from me.” And before anyone could stop him he took off, calling out Kaladin’s name.

……

Navani had been looking for her husband and she found him in his room, staring out the window. He had a deep frown on his face.

She stopped closer and leaned in to give him a kiss on his forehead. “What is on your mind?”

Dalinar looked up to her and smiled. “I was thinking about my son. I want the windrunner to return his feelings but at the same time I’m worried about the possible complications.”

She sat down next to him and chuckled softly. “I thought you didn’t really care what other people might think when it comes to matters of the heart.”

“I don’t. But at the same time I have to. Kaladin wasn’t born a Lighteyes.”

She huffed. “He’s a Radiant. And his eyes are now the most perfect blue I’ve ever seen. And even if they weren’t what does it matter? Haven’t we learned by now that the color of your eyes isn’t as important as the color of your soul?”

Dalinar nodded slowly. “Yes. I have. You have. But a lot of people will still think it is improper for a Highprince to be with someone born a Darkeyes. Even if Stormblessed is the most powerful Radiant.”

Navani sighed. “I know. It won’t be easy for them. But as long as we support them, Shallan will stand by them, and Jasnah will give them their blessing, they will make it work.” She squeezed his hand. “We’ve been through so much. And there is so much more pain and suffering in our future. Let the boy be happy, Dalinar.”

He smiled at her. “I will, Navani. I promise I will support the choices he makes.”

……

Kaladin looked up. For a moment he thought he was hallucinating. That sounded like Adolin. Calling for him. He turned around and could hear someone running towards him. How was it possible that the man had found him? He felt an overwhelming urge to lash himself upward and disappear. But then he realized that Adolin could be in danger. So instead he began running towards him.

Adolin turned the corner and almost ran into Kaladin. He came to a halt and grabbed Kaladin by his arms, afraid he would try to leave again. “I found you,” he grinned and pulled him close to kiss him.

Kaladin’s heart leaped but he forced himself to pull back. “Don’t. I can’t…”

But Adolin only tightened his grip. “Yes, you can. And I’m not letting you go.”

Kaladin frowned and managed to pull his arms free. He took a step back. “If you think I’m coming with you so I can watch you and Shallan pretend to be happy while I have to fend off Queen Fen, you’re sadly mistaken.”

Adolin smiled and shook his head. He reached out and took Kaladin’s hand in his. “No. I want you to come with me to stand by my side. To be my partner.”

Kaladin stared at him. “What do you mean? Your marriage. Your father…”

“I talked to him. I told him the truth. He gives us his blessing.”

“The truth? What truth?”

Adolin pulled him back in and kissed him again. “That I love you. That you are the best thing that ever happened to me. That I need you by my side.”

Kaladin tried to process what he was hearing. “You love me?”

“With all my heart. I know we are in the middle of a war. And nobody knows how this will end. If we’re going to get through this. But I do know that whatever comes our way, I want to face it with you by my side.” He kissed him again. “I won’t fear anything as long as you’re with me.”

Kaladin felt tears burn and as the shield around his heart started to crumble he wrapped his arms around Adolin. “I love you too,” he whispered. “I never thought I could feel this happy again. Thank you. For saving me.”

Adolin parted his lips and moaned softly as Kaladin deepened their kiss.

They didn’t realize the others had caught up with them until they heard Drehy’s voice. “If their first hug had looked like that I would have agreed with you from the start, Lopen,” he grinned.

Lopen huffed but he was grinning too. “It always takes the rest of you some time to catch up with me.”

Kaldin looked around until he found Syl, hovering nearby. “You told him where to find me,” he said.

She nodded. “I had to. He has a bond with you too. Are you mad at me?”

Kaladin smiled. “No Syl. I think this might be the best thing you’ve ever done for me.”

Syl turned to Adolin. “I trust you will take care of him,” she said with an earnest expression on her face.

“I promise.”

“You heard the little goddess, Brightlord. Better listen to her,” Rock warned. But you could tell by the smile on his face that he had faith that Adolin would keep that promise. “Now let’s go home. I have to make stew.”

Kaladin took Adolin’s hand. “Ready to take to the skies with me?”

Adolin smiled. “I’m ready to follow you wherever life takes us.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story ends here. It was fun to write and I want to thank you for reading it, subscribing to this story, bookmarking it, and leaving kudos and comments. If you’d like I could write part two. Because there probably will be obstacles on their path to lasting happiness. So if you want to read more just let me know. I might grab my laptop and write part two ;)


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